What about our children?
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Posted on: 29-03-05 16:26:56
lolzzzzz.... I was just playing jake.. u know that.. dont u?
And yes, I appreciate and respect your thoughts and choices
Regards.
Having spent 4 years in Canada, I have discovered that it is not the children who are confused or torn between the two cultures as is normally believed. In my opinion, it is the parents who are confused and think that the children are torn between the cultures. Young children have seen only one culture really and grown up children have seen two cultures but not to the full extent so as to understand it fully. Similarly, most of the parents have only seen one culture very closely and have either had a brush with, or are still in the process of trying to understand the other culture they have brought themselves into.
It is therefore the parents who are torn in between - wanting to live in Canada and trying for their children to achieve the best, while wanting them to stick to the thoughts, values and ideas that they themselves learned in India. I do not say that it is not possible, but to live in Canada entirely following Indian values and ideologies is impractical, if not impossible. Parents should step into the shoes of children and then look around how they would react when they go to school and things are done in a different manner. Even in India, peer pressure is such a thing which can force a child to forget what happens in his own house/family, when most of the peers come from similar families - then how do you expect the children in Canada not to accept what they see and experience in schools here - which in many ways, entirely different from the atmosphere they get in India.
It is therefore the parents who need to clear their confusion and understand what can be a good, if not the best, combination of two cultures, values and life styles which are very different from each other. Ever since I have accepted that fact, I am finding that I am able to communicate better with my children and enjoy in what they do. Unless the parents do it, this confusion will remain there, and will be harmful to the whole family.
Chandresh
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Chandresh
Advice is free – lessons I charge for!!
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
It is therefore the parents who are torn in between - wanting to live in Canada and trying for their children to achieve the best, while wanting them to stick to the thoughts, values and ideas that they themselves learned in India.
very well put. I agree completely(though the disclaimer still stands on my end)
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Why would you want the children to know about where they come from?
Face it, they belong here. Why not let them grow up as per the culture of the new country (actually for them its their country/culture)?
Also face the fact that despite the fact that Indians and other Asians are present in large numbers in Metro areas, they are still in a small minority country wide.
Why take the extra pain to fill them up with something that has no use in the western culture?
Let them grow up partying, drinking, enjoying, studying, making friends and lovers as per the culture here. Wouldnt that be more useful? That would mean complete assimilation into the local culture (a very desirable thing).
IF you want to be providing some sort of guidance, instill a thirst for knowledge and respect for other countries/cutures. One day you sons and daughters will discover India. They may like or dislike it, but it will be based totally on merits and not because there parents were from India.
But that is not what I think. I just wrote the above to make a point. Anyone get it?
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I once made a mistake, but I was wrong about it.
Quote:
Orginally posted by mercury6
Why would you want the children to know about where they come from?
Face it, they belong here. Why not let them grow up as per the culture of the new country (actually for them its their country/culture)?
Thats exactly what someone asked me once...this was in TO...after the first CD meeting.
Did not argue with him either
. BTW: there a whole thread on the subject somewhere here.
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Quote:
Orginally posted by mercury6
But that is not what I think. I just wrote the above to make a point. Anyone get it?
I do and in principle I agree with what you say.
The problem is, as parents it becomes difficult to watch the children growing up the Canadian way especially in those respects which the parents do not approve.
I am not saying it is justified, but that's the way it is.
But tell you what. It will take maybe a couple of generations and it will happen automatically. Since culture is also something that evolves, no matter how much you may try, the next generation and the one after and the one after that will eventually end up adapting to the culture here in to such an extent that it will be almost impossible to even detect the traces, if any, of the original culture.
That is what happens all the time. A perfect example is the black community in North America. There forefathers came from Africa. Not even a hint of African culture is visible anywhere with them.
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Diogenes
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The Cynic
Quote:
Orginally posted by DiogenestheCynic
That is what happens all the time. A perfect example is the black community in North America. There forefathers came from Africa. Not even a hint of African culture is visible anywhere with them.
Not true.
If anything it has entred into mainstream America giving us the impression that there is no trace.
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I once made a mistake, but I was wrong about it.
