Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 08-04-14 08:44:04
Quote:
Originally posted by Rajagopal
Quote:
Originally posted by dimple2001
I left my parents when I was 21, unmarried and no kids.
you mean as in "i-fought-and-left-home-for-good"?. you are a brave man.
Once, I also fought with my parents and left home..................It was the longest afternoon in my life :-)
Hmmm...not sure I understood. But, no, there was no fighting. It was an amicable and a well planned voyage across the vast puddles.
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Dimple2001
I don't think kids have anything to do with immigration. Normally, when parents want to send their kids abroad for study, they plan PR route so in the process they could save on the hefty International Student fee. Let me explain how this plan is full of potholes.
In the due process they (the parents) themselves lose a substantial amount of money while settling down. The money that could've rather been used to pay for their offsprings' International student fee had they been in India and well settled with the career/good position and mortgage free home.
I am in the same boat as Dimple for I too left when not married and kids. But, one thing is sure for I won't stay back if the circumstances won't favour me here, and especially in the event of losing/not finding job for long. That would prove to be detrimental for my kids. I would rather go back to India, settle in my ancestral home (mortgage free) in New Delhi, get a high paying job in Gurgaon, make money and then if kids are interested, send them for their university education here. Of-course, they won't have to pay for an International student fee for being a Citizen already.
If the kid is bright, doesn't matter where he/she is educated. So, this excuse doesn't gel well with me when people mention they moved due to the kids future. I studied in the Govt. Schools throughout (not Central School), and did alright myself. Then, why not kids in India nowadays that go to the Private schools with ample resources on their disposal? Send them for University here and if they want to settle down here then let them be. One doesn't need to uproot the whole family and take this drastic risk with the career for the heck of it.
Or, maybe I am wrong for I was never in that boat. My bad then. 
I actually immigrated for myself - at least that's what I thought. Then, Log (family) saath aatey gaye aur caravan (not car) banta gaya.
I can talk for myself, my primary reason for moving to Canada is for future of kids. As febpreet said that private schools are good, my two kids were studying in good private schools in India and after comparing the education with here I can say that my kids were better of in India.
But, I am a passout of Panjab engineering college and I can confidently say that the level of educators have considerably deteriorated in India even in IITs. Thanks to govt. policies, so professional course are no good in India.
Another point is that in India only two lines have high probability of settling decently in life i.e., medicine and engineering. Outside these lines, it is your luck which needs to favor you a lot or unless you have a running business.
Business in India are no more viable, it is game of investment. Higher investment with low returns.
Burgeoning population is increasing competition for kids and severely impacting medical facility. As an example a C-Section operation was costing 5000/- in 2000, now it is 50000/-. The medical cost is increasing considerably.
Me and my wife have every intention to settle in India for retirement, we are keeping our medical insurance alive there for the same reason. We just want kids to grow in an less stressful atmosphere which Canada offers.
Add another thing, do you think kids can make a house for themselves from scratch in India nowadays? I have two kids and one house in India.
Note, corruption is not in my agenda of moving here. I got used to living with it.
The discussion is heading towards "Why immigrated ? For you or the kids ?,
I was under expectation that it would head towards "Are you continuing to live for your child's sake even if you could be well compensated else where and have a better life.., say India ?
I didn't come here for my kids life but it is one of the major factor that influences from trying out any other places (US / Middle east / India). The way I have built all my memory of my hometown, my kids have built all their bonding here, in another 3-4 years, it would become much more difficult for me to plan a move back or move south. Personally I feel, if not Canada, the only other place I could adjust is India, so do our family.
Now in April, I kind of started forgetting how severe the weather was in Jan, this is happening every year. The ice storm of December 25 is still pretty green in my memory though
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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM
I have concerns with kids staying here that they will be acclimatized long term and may miss out on the hard work & competitiveness which reigns supreme in countries like India and China ...
I think an ideal scenario may be to let the children graduate from middle school here but if possible get them admitted to India for High School ..Let them study there for 5 years , develop their skills , and then decide whether to get them graduated from a good Indian University or a Canadian / US University .
This way they will still most likely maintain the edge ...
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Fido.
Quote:
Originally posted by Fido
I have concerns with kids staying here that they will be acclimatized long term and may miss out on the hard work & competitiveness which reigns supreme in countries like India and China ...
I think an ideal scenario may be to let the children graduate from middle school here but if possible get them admitted to India for High School ..Let them study there for 5 years , develop their skills , and then decide whether to get them graduated from a good Indian University or a Canadian / US University .
This way they will still most likely maintain the edge ...
My two cents.....
Middle school kids are old enough to understand and question parents decisions that affect them. Taking them to India - would mean a step back - which would make disgruntled and unhappy kids (mostly). In India - they will have to take one compulsory local language - Hindi / Marathi etc. Kids in India are very street smart and it is very difficult for kids from here to settle and adjust in that environment - from ultra polite to ultra aggressive. Plus - moving from India to Canada is an easy move academically - but the other way round - the ratta-baazi and reams of writing/reproducing - is not possible for all.
I had a friend who did the exact thing with her kids (she was from London, UK). It was a miserable 2 years - for all. I also hear this a lot - if the kids are good and capable - they will compete and come back etc. What if the kid is not able to cope? The pressure on the kids and the parent is very high. The quality of education in India is good till school - and better in Canada after high school. So why would one want to move the kids at such a point? I also believe that kids will get "spoilt" - for lack of a better word - in trying to be the NRI - seen it done it etc.
It is our responsibility to decide before hand - whether the kids grow in India or Canada. Uprooting them mid-way and shuttling them "for their own good" - is akin to making a loser out of a winner (since the move is from a first world country to a developing country). I may be wrong - but I believe I am right.
Moving based on high school etc.., wouldn't be appropriate when there are multiple kids in the family and there is a gap of 6 years (my case).
Do you know that there are difficulties in finding match for the kids when they are ready to marry. We know that the live in relationship, dating for ever things keep the kids a great deal of uncertainity in life. I hear these challenges from my friends who are elderly and have adult kids. Be it is a boy or Girl, the challenges had been pretty Himalayan.
How you feel about things today ? may not be the same as you grow old. In my own life, my priorities and interest have vastly changed in the year I moved to Canada and to date. It is also influenced by what you see around.
Plus you could disregard my another view, seperation and divorces were not common where we were growing up and even back in my family / friends circle in India. Once tied it stays till either die (98% cases at least). but here I see increased divorces and seperation among the Desi circle, it is painful as it often starts with a small misunderstanding, ego pitches in, and then it heads to unpleasant.
I was personally involved (with the help of few elders) in mending at least two marriages (45+ age group) but three have gone completely bad for many reasons that seem to have mostly cooked on both sides.
Its a sensitive topic, I guess many parents have been grinding this in their head...
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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM
