People (in TN) are so conservative that they donot say their husband's name in public. Even in Canada , i know 2 or 3 families (out of 4 or 5 that i know) , the ladies of whom never tell their husband's name. They always say "he", or "brother" or "Sir" to refer to their husband's name. If this happens in 2006 Canada, then what will happen in Tamil Nadu.
My mother never told my dad's name even though she was higly educated (BA in 1960's).
It is foolishness to some and culture to others. When i came to India from Nigeria in the 80's i used to call every one by the name (i was 13). My elder cousins even were ready to beat me up. So ultimately i ended up by calling their name with the respect of elder bro., uncle, sir etc.. in public and their names in private.
TK
Sidenote : I think DIO can back me up on this.

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

May be 20,000 Years back women don't use Hubby's name... Come on TK...

I've seen only in movies where some village women (No offence, Pls excuse) hesitate a bit to tell their spouse name. I haven't seen any women in TN hesitate to use her Hubby's name when it is needed.
Generally when they had to refer their husband they say "My husband" instead of name and the same with men using "My wife" for references...but no problem when the name needs to be used.

Other than using initial, there is no other way things are different........
If it is of interest may be we can explore more about the history of using initial.. I also want to know why its different.

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Originally posted by morning_rain

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Originally posted by tamilkuravan

MR,
For people who have moved to Canada from Tamil Nadu, the female has to take the First name of the husband which will be the last name for her. for (e.g) Husband's names is : Alan Smith and wife's name is Nancy Drew (before marriage), After marriage Nancy Drew will be known as Nancy Alan.
In Tamil nadu, it is not decent/norm to express the first name of the male in public (exposing last name is even more not the norm/decent/acceptable). In tamil Nadu, all registration of our characters will be : S. Alan for the Husband, D. Nancy for the lady (before mariage) and A. Nancy for the lady (after marriage)
TK
Sidenote :I have had lot of suprises in Canada (particularly Ontario on that) and confusion too in ladies taking the first name of the husband.
Sidenote 2: This applies only to Tamil Nadu , as i know. In our class (school and univ.) all the girls last name was an initial. but i have seen doctors expressing their name and the first name of the husband/father.

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For what reason is it not considered decent/norm to say the first name of your husband in public??

Thanks

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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM

Oh..My God... TK, Please get into the time machine.. and punch 2006. Hayyyaa.... Not to forget 2 again..

But I can tell you this, even if US till 50s (before all these corporations took over), kids use Sir to refer to Grand Fathers.. I've read some old books... I am assuming its real... You could even check some old John Girishams novels.

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Originally posted by tamilkuravan

People (in TN) are so conservative that they donot say their husband's name in public. Even in Canada , i know 2 or 3 families (out of 4 or 5 that i know) , the ladies of whom never tell their husband's name. They always say "he", or "brother" or "Sir" to refer to their husband's name. If this happens in 2006 Canada, then what will happen in Tamil Nadu.
My mother never told my dad's name even though she was higly educated (BA in 1960's).
It is foolishness to some and culture to others. When i came to India from Nigeria in the 80's i used to call every one by the name (i was 13). My elder cousins even were ready to beat me up. So ultimately i ended up by calling their name with the respect of elder bro., uncle, sir etc.. in public and their names in private.
TK
Sidenote : I think DIO can back me up on this.

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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM

Well, in TN , i have never seen ladies (incl. highly educated ones) tell the name of their husbands in Public or Private. They, at the most, will write down the name of their husband in paper. If a person comes and asks, is Mr. Kuppusamy there, they will say "sir" is not there. Some times when election officials/ census officials/ration card renewal comes and they ask their husbands name, they will run inside the house and bring a piece of paper which has his name. it may be a certificate, an address bearing his name etc.. or they may bring their children to repeat their father's name.
In some cases, they will tell their husband's name when he is not around and with a "Mr" in front of it.
This is just what i have seen. Maybe i have not seen it all.
And what about the 3 families from TN in Canada whose ladies do not tell their Gent's name. i can vouch for it personally.
TK

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

i agree with TK.... i have come across a lott of indian women, not only from TN, who do not utter the name.........

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I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible.
But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.

You have got to be kidding!!!

After reading this thread and all this about calling husbands "sir" my hubby has also gone on a wild trip and is insisting i call him "Sir" !!!



lets all grow up

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Originally posted by mails4sagar



i agree with TK.... i have come across a lott of indian women, not only from TN, who do not utter the name.........

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Again i wish to state the following :
My response was only for the people of TN in India, b'cos that is the only culture that i studied/ experienced in detail.
You will not understand the significance of the word "Sir" used for husbands unless you are a Tamil.
for eg: if you ask a wife : " IS Mr. Kuppusamy here?" the wife will say " Sir is not at home"
That is Tamil Culture.
TK

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.