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Posts: 5775
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 05-04-06 08:12:06
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 05-04-06 08:12:06
deleted due to vulgur answers being given
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
In our culture (Tamil), I was born and brought up with the fact that men are the sole bread winners of the family and wife is to only raise kids.
It's you call. If you want to stick to that "culture" then let you wife stay home and raise kids. You kids will really be happy to have their mom with them whole day.
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
Traditionally the money that the man got would be enough to run the family, pay for the man's family welfare, take care of the child, pay for the house loan and then save.
As I understand, tradition is what's been very true in past. That "truth" was based on all the circumstances that existed at that point of time. If all or any those circumstances do not stand true in today's time, then it's time for a change.
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
have other CD members come acroiss such a situation? and how do they handle it. Do parents approve of getting money from your wife to run the family?
Do I still need to answer this ?
And BTW, where does parents come into picture when it's your income and your expenses and your hard work of making them meet ?
TK you are a stuck up Male Chauvinist.
I am sure you belive in "Dowry" and "Female Foeticide".
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You know you are a desi when ........ You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there...............You've never had a tanning salon membership
Posts: 2873
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 05-04-06 10:22:31
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 05-04-06 10:22:31
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
HEllo CD's,
THis is my problem.
In our culture (Tamil), I was born and brought up with the fact that men are the sole bread winners of the family and wife is to only raise kids.
Traditionally the money that the man got would be enough to run the family, pay for the man's family welfare, take care of the child, pay for the house loan and then save.
When i came to canada and got married, i found that my salary was atleast $1000 less than my monthly expenses and i got the diffencial amount from my wife (my parents still donot know that). I feel very ashamed and i am really very angry with the Canadian govt. that it has not done enough to provide for good paying jobs to a professional immigrant.
My question is , have other CD members come acroiss such a situation? and how do they handle it. Do parents approve of getting money from your wife to run the family?
Mature answers only please.
TK
Sidenote : My wife also bought me the car that i drive in valued at $8.5K (with tax)
What is there to be ashamed of? You, your wife and your kid are a family, not some strangers to each other. If you hold on to the legends of "culture" and "traditions" in the context of who the major bread winner is going to be or should be, I don't see how you can make any progress in your life.
It is your family's life and future. It is you and your wife who has to make the decision on your finances, your day to day life, etc. It is both of you who needs to decide how the total household income is utilised, spent and saved.
Just a FYi - it is with my wife's savings as 20% downpayment that we bought our first home. We don't regard that as, "my wife bought me a house", instead, we look at it as "we bought a house for us".
And seriously, if parents have to decide and give opinions on how you run your family's life, how can you manage any integrity of your own family?
While you can take efforts for compensation from the Cdn Govt, blaming Canada continually is certainly not going to help you progress in life.
Hope this helps.
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Dimple2001
Posts: 2873
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 05-04-06 10:23:18
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 05-04-06 10:23:18
Quote:
Originally posted by Loser
TK you are a stuck up Male Chauvinist.
I am sure you belive in "Dowry" and "Female Feoticide".
What is female feoticide?
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Dimple2001
And then, again, as one/few of our friend(s) has already said ...
we will have golden bricks paved on our roads, milk and honey will flow in our river, corolla and civic give-aways to new immigrants and govt. job offers letters on landing, ... hehehehe
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
HEllo CD's,
THis is my problem.
In our culture (Tamil), I was born and brought up with the fact that men are the sole bread winners of the family and wife is to only raise kids.
Traditionally the money that the man got would be enough to run the family, pay for the man's family welfare, take care of the child, pay for the house loan and then save.
When i came to canada and got married, i found that my salary was atleast $1000 less than my monthly expenses and i got the diffencial amount from my wife (my parents still donot know that). I feel very ashamed and i am really very angry with the Canadian govt. that it has not done enough to provide for good paying jobs to a professional immigrant.
My question is , have other CD members come acroiss such a situation? and how do they handle it. Do parents approve of getting money from your wife to run the family?
Mature answers only please.
TK
Sidenote : My wife also bought me the car that i drive in valued at $8.5K (with tax)
If I were in your position, and IF I feel guilty, I would take it is as a challenge and aim to increase my income, even if it meant changing my profession - instead of blaming anyone else for this.
There is nothing lowly or degrading if the wife contributes to your family income. Even though my wife stays home, i feel she is contributing more than me by helping me raise our kids in a way NO OTHER DAY CARE can..or I can look it other way she is saving $4/hr/kid, 40 hr/week for 2 kids = $300 /week - which is better than a $8/hr job + benefit of seeing them raised with our own values and love..
So TK..the ball is in your court..do you want to Hit an ace or do you wish to give up and lose..
All the best.
Hiren.
Sidenote : Please do not take this personally, but just by having professional qualifications does not make you a professional by default..you need to apply them in a way a professional does.
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