We are all lured to the West due to the Joneses!, Wealth or so called better opportunities for our children or even to get away from our current problems.

It is better to be in the frying pan than to get into the fire!. Many of us have travelled to North America and know about the life out of here. There are some who have never travelled out of Desh or lived in Middle East who plan to immigrate to North of America for their betterment. The Quality of Life, Financial Growth, Betterment for their children are in their guns telescope like the birds eye in Arjuna's -Dronacharya story. They tend to miss out on the finer print on certain issues. This might be of very much interest to people from certain religion and faith, than some others. I'm stressing this because I have friends of mine from other religions, who have very good career here but are packing their bags as they are not willing to compromise on certain issues and some of them never thought about this and when it hit them, they were unprepared for this.

There are tonnes of issues, but I would like to highlight certain here in this thread. My objective is to open the eyes of people, so that they are better prepared for their destination.Many times I come down heavily on Canada on certain issues, so that awareness is created about the current situation in the Land of Milk and Honey. Hopefully we could have beer in our taps also, with a choice of light, dark and Ale!.

I do hope to have Mature Discussion on this topic please. I do not want to offend anybody but want to bring about a decent discussion. Some of the topics are not digestable to many, as I know the feed back and the brick bats many of my fellow brethrens received on the radio from the various callers for attending the \\\\\\\"Valentines Day\\\\\\\" celebration conducted by our own Desi Canadian Idol contestant a few months back.

1.Teen & Pre-Teen Sexual Activity:

In our countries we hear about this, but there is a lesser chance of it happening to our children. May be things have changed in India since I've left due to the BPO's and Call Center culture. I can say with 100% confidence, some of the children are sexually active by the age of 12 or 7th Grade. This may involve oral sex too. How do you prepare your children about this?. Can you have a talk about the birds and bees? or do it like the episode in the movie American Pie!. Either you can talk about the rights and the wrongs, bring about our culture or purely prepare them about Contraception. Some of my friends have packed their bags, when they realized that some of the friends of their children were active and said this is enough. This also happens in the case of abuse of Alcohol or Pot. The concept of dating is found to be cool with many cultures and how many times you find children kissing on the pave walk outside the schools.

2.Discussion on Sex, Sexual Orientation & other related issues:

I've worked in various environments where both men and women co-workers of other cultures have discussed their sexual orientation or their sexual habits or their exploits with their spouses or partners at work place. I used to listen to it, but never took anything to heart and forgot about it when I left the work place. I've found many Desis including men, very uncomfortable about this when it is discussed in an work environment. Sometimes I've found that it to be extremely amusing when Guyanese people of Indian origin being open about this while Desis being uncomfortable, sometimes people leaving the spot immediately. I do know this point treads on Work Place Sexual Harassment Issue or Indecency. Many times I find the Goras using the \\\\\\\"F\\\\\\\"word very frequently, while Desis are not comfortable about in this envrionment. Eventhough we come from the land of KamaSutra and at any given time there are more people involved in sexual activity in India vis-a-vis population of many other countries put together. But still we tend to make ugly faces, or some times people pass comments in Hindi or pass judgemental remarks behind the back. The other extreme I found with Desi men was that when a lady discusses it with them, they assume it to be an invitation for them to flirt. Adjusting to this culture and drawing the Lakshmana Rekha is something we learn by experience. Many times Desi men are uncomfortable with their wives talking to other men at their work place even when it is chit-chat. Sometimes when the Desi woman are offered a ride by their co-worker who happens to be a man, where does the lady sit. In the front seat or in the back seat in true desi style?. Small issues but countless arguements leading even to Divorce. Many times in company change rooms, showers or even in gyms/sports clubs we find people dropping their pants and walking in nude, while desis find it to be undigestable.

3.Role Reversal:

Canada is favored more towards women then men. It could be workplace opportunities or getting small business loans or even law. Many a times the lady of the house gets better jobs or higher paying job.Sometimes even though she is lesser educated than the man, she picks up a higher paying job either due to her skills or the company wants to show to the government about being an equal opportunity employer. It might be financially and mentally better off for the husband to stay at home and take care of the kids than to send the children off to day care, and never getting quality time with their kids. Many of Desi men are brought up with the MARD mentality back home and they are never able to adjust or digest this role reversal. At the end of the day the children are the losers. May be people can see the movies like Mr.Mom or Daddy Day Care.

This list of issues can be expanded for many more points. Once again I request for maturity, decency in terms of discussion. I would like once again to reiterate my objective of bringing this topic is to open the eyes of potential immigrant to other issues than to just to AOR, CAIPS file or time for request for Passport for stamping or which city to land.

Thanks for Reading and your comments please!.

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Speech by Thomas Friedman of The New York Times....

"When we were young kids growing up in America, we were told to eat our
vegetables at dinner and not leave them. Mothers said, 'think of the
starving children in India and finish the dinner.' And now I tell my
children: 'Finish your maths homework. Think of the children in India
who would make you starve, if you don't.'"

Sankaracharya,
Good thread. I have been hoping for a reply for 7 hours now but no one has given you an answer. I thought i had let you know about my views.

Discussion among colleuges :
I used to use very vulgur language at school/ university but when i came here i found that most people control their tounges for the fear of being sued. The main place where vulgur language is mostly used is in factories. I have been lucky in the sense that in my office most of them are immigrants without good knowledge of english. They even canot understand what we talk, what more they will understand when and if we use abusive terms. My boss uses vulgur words when he is fired by a client but he makes it a point to appologise to me for the words that he spoke. We have a very abusive client who has his office next door and he really uses abusive words. 2 days back or yesterday was the first time he used abusive language at me but somehow i did not feel angry.
My wife works in a professional IT office and by what she says is that most peole are good and there is no abusive language in her office. All of the Gora's and Desi's are very decent. My wife does not mingle with Gora Gents. Her superiors are mostly desi's. so he has had no bad experience.

About children and pre teen sex activity :
I canot comment on that since i will not allow my children (s) to grow up in Canada from age 6-18. Sex will be a taboo item for them in Tamil Nadu. Never to be publically discussed.

role reversal:
My wife earns more than me. I have my thesis on this but my wife will kill me if she ever reads that. PM me if you want my opinion.
TK

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

Whatever happens on this planet, happens first in North America.
Now whatever happens for the first time, do gets repeated!
This stands true for almost each and every thing.

Quote:

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Originally posted by shankaracharya
1.Teen & Pre-Teen Sexual Activity:
2.Discussion on Sex, Sexual Orientation & other related issues:

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Quote:

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Originally posted by shankaracharya
3.Role Reversal:
Canada is favored more towards women then men.

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