that sometime in your life you should go back to your country or whereever your parents are and be there with them during their old age

I sincerely feel that i should do that especially when over the phone we get news of parents being sick or something going on here and there

my parents are well setlled, we have lots of relatives to help them out in bad times but i feel i am doing wrong by not being there with them when they need me, maybe if it would only be for short time or so

Dont know of anyone else but sometimes watching movies , talking to parents makes me nostalgic and guilty at the same time...Is that what we r going to see from our kids, yes i am sure we would..what goes around comes back

anyone in same boat as me, or i am the only loaner in this ocean?

pls dont throw bricks..it hurts

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Ashish

The bird makes a nest and has kids . The kids fly off to distant lands and make their own nests . Thats the rule of nature and we all have to live by it .

We all have our own lives and have to live them by our own rules. Our parents have their lives and we have our own . This seems very contradictory to the indian conservative culture but that is a part fo package.

You can go to india and be with them and get all emotional wealth but lose material wealth and comforts or be here get all material wealth and comforts and always crib emotionally but it is the package that we opted for when we came here .

No one get all in a package . you have to lose some to win some

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We will find a way or we will make one

"You can go to india and be with them and get all emotional wealth but lose material wealth and comforts or be here get all material wealth and comforts and always crib emotionally"

OR Sponsor the parents over to Canada , get material wealth(??????) and comforts AND emotional wealth. After ten years , they start getting Material Wealth (OAS , GIS) . Canada is a GREAT country!!!!!!

OR Sponsor the parents over to Canada , get material wealth(??????) and comforts AND emotional wealth. After ten years , they start getting Material Wealth (OAS , GIS) . Canada is a GREAT country!!!!!!



Have you ever thought about uprooting your parents from their country and getting them here at an age when they need friends and are unable to drive, work , what it would feel fo rthem . Yes ! you emotional needs would be fine but what about theirs. Try asking them and I am sure you would be surprised

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We will find a way or we will make one

That comment was in a lighter vein. But coming back to the discussion..

"Have you ever thought about uprooting your parents from their country and getting them here at an age when they need friends and are unable to drive, work , what it would feel fo rthem Try asking them and I am sure you would be surprised"

Actually YOU might be surprised by the number saying 'Yes'. Two reasons....
1. No parent wants to feel guilty about uprooting their kid. They would rather endure some discomfort in a new place than force their kids to come back.
2. Everyone is ENAMOURED of this country and the US. They think that the healthcare here will be MUCH better than the healthcare they get back home. They hear about one guy whose dad had an open heart surgery for free in Toronto and everyone thinks that maybe getting a PR here is a good idea.

Cool

Well,if Ashish's Parents are willing to come to Canada and settle here for life , I would be happy .

AND also if Ashish's wife is willing to stay all her life with his parents and compromise privacy and their way of living (don't take me wrong but staying together for life is different from visiting for a couple of months )

Let see what he has to say

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We will find a way or we will make one

I would say that having your parents come over and stay with you should neither be a problem for you, nor for them. An arrangement can easily be arrived at whereby they stay here as long as both the parents and kids feel comfortable with each other, as well as the kids give the parents an opportunity to go back to India on important social occassions as well as just to spend some time back home with family and friends.

We brothers did this with our parent. Initially one of the three brothers went to Singapore to live, followed by the second one after a few years and then me a few years later. Initially my mother used to go to Singapore for a visit of about 90 days (the chepest ticket validity at that time), which increased to twice a year and when all three of us were in Singapore, she visited India for about 3 months every year or whenever an important social occassion demanded it. Such a thing continued for 15 over years till she passed away in year 2000.

About wives adjusting to live with their in-laws has nothing to do with Canada and India - it would be same if the kids and parents were both in India in different cities or even in the same city. Compromises have to made in each situation - just like there are numerous compromises to be made in living with your spouse. But that is called family life and one who is not comfortable with living together, will continue to be uncomfortable in such situations whether the distance is of countries, cities, localities or even the same lane!

It is a matter of choice - what an individual thinks is more important to him - living with or living away from parents.

Chandresh

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Chandresh

Advice is free – lessons I charge for!!