Racism!
If it doesn't concern me, it would certainly make me laugh. That's how Milan Kundera begins the preface of his best selling

'The Joke'.
My funny story goes like this.
We are a Sikh family(turban wearing). I am an IT professional, went to Vancouver this April along with my wife and kid to get Imm stamped.
Our stay there was arranged by my wife's friends who are Sikhs (but of different cast! So now you understand the story.)

Just as a background, Sikhs like Hindus are mainly of four castes, Jatts (Farmers), Khatris(Warriors), Tarkhans(Carprenters, bricklayers, masons), Majhbis(sweepers etc.). Our Guru when formed Khalsa on 13th April, 1699 , instructed all the Sikhs to

abondon their castes and use only Singh as their surname. (Unfortunately, canada immigration authorities don't recognize

Singh as surname, probabaly because their database can't accept Singh surname as if they query database to see listing of

Singhs the computer will come up with millions of records, so they have asked Sikhs to use singh as the middle name and

our caste as surname).
After India Pak Partition in 1947 Khatris were begun to be called Bhappas (in derogatory sense to make fun of them) by Jatt

Political leaders to win the political power and votes of Jatts who are in majority in Punjab.

Coming back to the story, my wife's friends took us to all the sight seeing places and were very hospitable during my stay

there. I would call the lady F and her husband M. (Female, Male)
M while filling out my SIN forms M asked me to drop my Surname as otherwise I would be discriminated by Jatt Sikhs. I did not

pay attention to his words and just ti say something I said OK once I would come for permanent settlement I would do it.

I happily left vancouver after one week to London where I am working on Work permit, leaving my wife and son along with them

to wait for PR cards. She stayed along with them for two months. we talked over the phone and she happily told me that she

was enjoying her days.
It's only when she came back she told me about the real nature of her friends. Ours is a alove marriage (out of caste).I am

Khatri and my wife is Hindu Brahmin. The family with whom we stayed are Carprenters(by Caste).
When my wife came back and I called Canada to thanx her friends for their hospitality, they did not speak nicely to me. I

asked my wife what was the matter.She said that F doesn't like mixing with Bhappas (Khatris). She often used to tell my wife

:
ikk Bhappa so syappa
One Bhappa equals to hundred tensions
punj Bhappey Punjab Sind Bank
Five Bhappas equal to Punjab Sind Bank (which is a Bank in Punjab)
By which she meant Bhappas are only concerened with money (in a derogatory sense). She began poisoning my wife against me

because I am a Bhappa. I am a very resereved guy and like reading lot of literature in my free time, instead of gossiping

with people. When they took me to cutlus lake, after strolling for some time,I lay down there with Ivan Klima's Love and

Garbage.
My wife said that F spoke so bad about me that I am a money minded Bhappa who does not care about relationships and that's

the reason instead of mixing with them I was absorbed in reading dirty literature. She said that my face resembles a typical

clever Bhappa.
My wife told me all this to be honest in our relationship and she confessed that staying with them during that time, she had

come under their influence and started thinking about me the way she did.
And F did her best to convince my wife to divorce me and stay alone in Canada.
One day F took my wife to a Gurudwara (Sikh Temple), where choristers were singing hymns. When my wife appreciated their

voice, F said these are Bhappas, they are no Good.
Why was she saying all this to her knowing that her husband is a Bhappa?
The lady has got a Jatt friend (say Y), who is married to a Bhappa man.
One day Y visited her along with her son. When they left, my wife praised that son was very good mannered.F said 'what? he is

a bhappa? when he will be grown up, he will become a typical bhappa'
F told my wife that they don't like mixing with Bhappas and the only reason they have welcomed us is because of her

friendship with my wife (who is not Bhappa, she is Hindu as I have mentioned earlier).
In India I have studied outside Punjab. And then I came to UK and this is the first time I have mixed with a family of

different caste and I have faced this situation about which I used to read on the internet a lot: Just Google Jatt Bhappa.

You will come accross Sikhs all over the world fighting with each other over their castes.
This is my first experience in Vancouver, I don't know what else I will have to face in future especially in Vancouver (which

is full of Jatt Sikhs) until I change my appearnace and become a clean shaven from full bearded and live in Non-Sikh area and no one recognises me as a Sikh.

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shanti shanti

I understand what you are going through....

what if tomorrow a white friend of your wife starts talking to her about your brown skin...... How will you get rid of your skin....

Your shaving off will prove that you also believe in whatever your wife's friend says..... Answering petty minds by petty mindedness is not what I will recommend to you....

If you are a true believer of the guru and believe in his teachings, dont lose faith in yourself. Be proud of what you are.... Only if you respect yourself will the others respect you........

Regards,

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Cheers,
JSethi

Hi
I feel very sorry for what you have to go thorough after what ur wife told.My simple suggestion., Just be yourself. Try mingling & talking with those people whose background ,In India is from cities. Lot of village bound people have gone their(canada). At least in first generation people this things will remain in their mind. That village lady ( I suppose her background)only hurts non-jat Sikhs. But I have seen many fellow jat Sikh village people who hate Hindus too. But then I find same thing in Hindus also. I have seen many who hates Sikhs.
Anyway remain away from the uneducated people. Vancouver in any case is place where most of the village peoples live. If I am correct Serry is main Centre where many people do farming. Try live in Toronto area as many educated h1b holders Indians are coming here.
In London probably u did not face this problem as first generation indians ( read jat sikhs) comes in 60’s & 70 ‘s only. You must have get chance to meet/interact with second generation. Which I suppose must not be thinking this way. By the way what’s stopped u from applying hsmp uk. I failed this time but planning to apply again in six month time. UK is certainly much better place to live. See if u can get hsmp status.

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infocan