hey guys and gals
does any of u have problem with parents..? do u think tht ur parents are more strict here than they were in india? well i feel tht ... my parents didn't mind me going anywhere at anytime when i was there but here my dad won't go to sleep untill i come home. and sometimes we fight and i tell them don't u trust me?? and they goes.... we trust u but we can't be sure of others... i don't like them doing this to me. well i wouldn't mind this if i was bad kid and they were worried about me but i am not tht kind of gal i respect them and my culture but y can't they understand me???? sometimes i am just so when they call me home from friend's b'day party. y do they have to do tht when they know tht i am there and i am not doing anything wrong......??????? EVERYONE CAN POST THEIR OPINION .... PARENTS TOO.

I'm surprised nobody posted a reply to this one, gujju_sonu brings up a really good point. There may not be too many Indian teenagers accessing canadiandesi yet, but I'm sure there's lots of parents with young daughters who're online.

I'm neither a teenager nor a parent. But I'll try. I think parents mistrust of the society here starts from TV. They see all kinds of stupid shows depicting a hedonist society without any morals. They go to malls and see young girls wearing minimal clothes and they hear stories about how some other desi's daughter still in highschool ran away with some firangi etc etc. And this builds all kinds of fears in their minds. This is not the case in India, there we generally live in a society where we're enveloped within certain restrictions and social norms (although that's changing pretty rapidly too). That's probably the reason they are more strict and controlling here.

But you're right, your parents should learn to trust you more. Fact of the matter is North America is a pretty free society and if you wanted to do something "wrong", you could do it anyways, no matter how much they keep you in check.

I think communication is the key here. If you can, you should talk to them openly and try to understand exactly what fears they have and then assure them that you will never betray their trust. Getting straight A's in school might help too

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Are you there?

Good point Sonu and good answer BL.

I also have kids and I am too worried about them. I might not use the world strict - as I am not strict, but more cautious, but as you rightly mentioned, We were not that cautious in Gujarat.

This is different country. In India we all have friends and many member of society used to know you directly. The places you were going to visit was known and easily accessible.

Here is it not possible. The school system asks you to stay at school late. You have to do lots of projects and that too in a group.

In India the group you are going to join, was like you - totally indianized - we might have cast differences, but that is not a major concern. Here you are going to mix with all kind of people - gora, kala, pakistani, bangladesi, shree lankan, indian etc. There is nothing against them personally, but like any modern, but still orthodox parent it is difficult to adjust with any of them when it comes to marriage.

Then we are hearing lot of stories about people settled in this country sinces last 20 plus year and what happened to them.

This is the reason why we are more cautious.

Definately the another important factor for other parents is the absense they have from home. Being both, husband and wife working and many times during odd hours, they have feeling that they are not taking enough care of their child, and so they become strict (over reaction).

All kids are good. We know we have strong roots and it is not easy for anyone to forget it. We trust you all - out bright second generation!!!

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A Proud Indian Canadian

thanx to both of u.... i actually didn't have any intesion of putting this msg here but i just felt so angry .... now i think i should do whtever they say .... and tht's the only thing i can do to get there trust.. anyways thnx for telling me ur views.