Posted on: 18-06-04 12:42:58
catching a lion does require some effort.
Six scientific ways to catch a lion:
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1. Newton's Method:
Let the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite
reaction. It implies you caught the lion.
2. Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative
velocity, the lion will also
run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
3. Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive probability that lion to be in
the cage. So set the trap, sit down
and wait.
4. Inverse Transformation Method:
Place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it. Perform an inverse
transformation with respect to lion. Lion is in and we are out.
5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
Construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows everything to pass it
except lions. Then sweep the
entire forest with it.
6. Integration Differential Method:
Integrate the forest over the entire area. The lion is some where in the
result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion to trace out the
lion.
GOT FRUSTRATED ?
now lets kill the lion...
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Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Rahul Dravid method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run. Lion dies
after a spurt of continuous madness.
Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from danger and feed him with vegetables continuously.
George Bush method:
Link the lion with Osama Bin Laden and shoot him.
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Special Requests: Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job
Canadian method,
Have rounds and rounds of presentation and meetings on lion and the lion catching method along with tons of tim hortons and swis chalets.
By the time you are done, the lion will grow old and die..
Have a committee set up after the lion's death to probe with indefinite time frame...or have the auditor general investigate...
Good...eh?
Timon
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"The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be"
in such a long time lion will have plenty of young ones ... so the lion will get old and die but you will be left with many more younger lions to deal with ...
canadian method at its besht
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What can be imagined, can be achieved.
Show photos of our Indian politicians to the lion, he'll apply for immigration to Canada, he'll see the halat of our politicians here and commit suicide.
Prolem salved.
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HB
Mishter India
I dont think that lion is going to have so many kids..being a Canadian. The catcher may have to introduce a immigration policy for lions based on the point systems. The lions can bring in money and improve canadian economy.
The advantages of an immigration system for lions:-
1. Improves the cultural mosaic of canada..promotes diversity
2.dont expect the lions to kill others..as they are not likely to find jobs in "their fields". They might end up doing some labour or odd jobs and always dream of a day when they will find a job in their field..which they wont get since they dont have canadian experience...
After 3 years of immigration, they will say .........oooooooh canada..while receiving their citizenship cards.
I was waiting for an immigration policy for meerkats..
Timon
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"The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be"
Timon, you crack me up 
By taking Canadian passport the number of lions will be reduced.
"3 Sher" on the cover of our indian passport will be eliminated for every Indian passport given up.
HAKUNA MATATA
Quote:
Orginally posted by Timon
Mishter India
I dont think that lion is going to have so many kids..being a Canadian. The catcher may have to introduce a immigration policy for lions based on the point systems. The lions can bring in money and improve canadian economy.
The advantages of an immigration system for lions:-
1. Improves the cultural mosaic of canada..promotes diversity
2.dont expect the lions to kill others..as they are not likely to find jobs in "their fields". They might end up doing some labour or odd jobs and always dream of a day when they will find a job in their field..which they wont get since they dont have canadian experience...
After 3 years of immigration, they will say .........oooooooh canada..while receiving their citizenship cards.
I was waiting for an immigration policy for meerkats..
Timon
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What can be imagined, can be achieved.
Finally , Most of those lions will be found south of the border making their kills .
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We will find a way or we will make one
