The New Greeter

After landing my new job as the greeter of a department store, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. Here's what happened...

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart." I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Don't be a damn idiot. Of course they aren't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one' s 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone had s*x with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart."

My Supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

Thanks Vagg. But I have read this joke before and i believe that it could be in CD itself.

Murali Krishna

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

Ok one more try :-)

At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A retired Marine A-4 pilot drunk and with a ragged dirty look came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away. They gave him a glass to drink.

The old pilot tried it and said, "It's a Muscat three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade but acceptable."

"That's correct", said the boss. "Another glass, please."

"It's a cabernet, eight years old, south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for finest results."

"Absolutely correct. A third glass."

"It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive," calmly said the drunk.

The director was astonished and winked at his secretary to suggest something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.

The alcoholic tried it, "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father."

Good one. Is the father meant to the Director ?

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.