Aging parents... Providing emotional support from remote.


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JRF   
Member since: Jul 04
Posts: 1853
Location: GTA, Ontario

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 04-04-12 17:07:25

Hello,

Our parents are getting old, for some their parents are mobile for some they could be semi-mobile. How do CDs (especially the one who do not have their siblings living in India) manage to assist their parents living in North America. Share your experience please.

My parents are active to the extent that they are able to take care of themselves at this point but I have already started observing things are slowly heading south both physically and psychologically. As the business in India is progressing, the care they used to get from my cousins are waning slowly and both my sisters are already out of the country.

Despite having a maid, they seem to slowly losing grip on things. Fortunately, they aren't stressed financially but it appears its quite beyond Finance and Economics.

Moving them here (Super visa category) doesn't appear to help much (esp Dad), they visited twice liked but still consider this as a vacation in place of seeing this place even remotely as home.

This is one of the ill-fate of (tech) immigrants from tier-2 cities, who can't easily move back and be helpful while not compromising their career.

Can't let'em down after being supportive both ways all the life...


-----------------------------------------------------------------
The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM


JRF   
Member since: Jul 04
Posts: 1853
Location: GTA, Ontario

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 04-04-12 17:10:05

Moving to tier-1 city in India would be like starting everything from the scratch and is quite apprehensive honest to say.


-----------------------------------------------------------------
The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM


ash1967   
Member since: Oct 11
Posts: 28
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 04-04-12 17:34:56

Tier1 cities are good in some aspects, but Tier2 cities have lower cost & less stressful lifestyle.
There are home care facilities which are coming up in India.
You have 2options, either you move back look after them, or let someone else look after them.
If its someone else, than preference should be given to your siblings (if they are there); if not than you may be left with limited options. Professional home care services are not available in all cities (though some cities have them).

This problem is also faced by people living in India, in some cases kids live in metro, tier1 cities & parents live in their hometown (in their community). Each family is unique..

My brother just moved out from B'lore to closer to my parents, so he can look after them..



JRF   
Member since: Jul 04
Posts: 1853
Location: GTA, Ontario

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 04-04-12 17:59:30


With due respect, Homecare facility is not less than a social stigma to them especially having all their relatives around.
True, life in tier-2 cities are less stressful, but tech career pauses.

Well, every problem has its solution.. brain storming would put the shift on..

Quote:
Originally posted by ash1967

Tier1 cities are good in some aspects, but Tier2 cities have lower cost & less stressful lifestyle.
There are home care facilities which are coming up in India.
You have 2options, either you move back look after them, or let someone else look after them.
If its someone else, than preference should be given to your siblings (if they are there); if not than you may be left with limited options. Professional home care services are not available in all cities (though some cities have them).

This problem is also faced by people living in India, in some cases kids live in metro, tier1 cities & parents live in their hometown (in their community). Each family is unique..

My brother just moved out from B'lore to closer to my parents, so he can look after them..


-----------------------------------------------------------------
The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM


JRF   
Member since: Jul 04
Posts: 1853
Location: GTA, Ontario

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 04-04-12 18:00:46

With due respect, Homecare facility is not less than a social stigma to them especially having all their relatives around.
True, life in tier-2 cities are less stressful, but tech career pauses.

Well, every problem has its solution.. brain storming would put the shift on..

My parents don't seem to have any problem to move to tier-1 city like chennai in case I move there. At last, it is just 5 hour drive from my hometown or 30-minutes domestic flight...

Sadly, I've never lived more than 6 months in chennai though I have my second home there...


Quote:
Originally posted by ash1967

Tier1 cities are good in some aspects, but Tier2 cities have lower cost & less stressful lifestyle.
There are home care facilities which are coming up in India.
You have 2options, either you move back look after them, or let someone else look after them.
If its someone else, than preference should be given to your siblings (if they are there); if not than you may be left with limited options. Professional home care services are not available in all cities (though some cities have them).

This problem is also faced by people living in India, in some cases kids live in metro, tier1 cities & parents live in their hometown (in their community). Each family is unique..

My brother just moved out from B'lore to closer to my parents, so he can look after them..


-----------------------------------------------------------------
The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM


dimple2001   
Member since: Apr 04
Posts: 2873
Location: Western Hemisphere

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 04-04-12 19:18:29

My parents will be moving to full service retirement community in the next 6 months. The complex contains single family homes whose construction began several months ago.


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dimple2001


newboyo   
Member since: Nov 05
Posts: 253
Location: TO

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 04-04-12 20:09:08

Quote:
Originally posted by dimple2001

My parents will be moving to full service retirement community in the next 6 months. The complex contains single family homes whose construction began several months ago.



Hi Dimple,

Could you share any details of the community - location, facilities etc etc?

Rgds

New





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