Location: God's own country
Posted on: 07-07-08 10:34:37
Quote:
Originally posted by HelloG
Its just been a year that we came to Canada so we did have an idea about stuff that will be appreciated but you know somehow it was more of an attitude thing. Does it happen with all NRIs that when they visit they are the ones who are expected to pay everywhere and everytime.
I think i am taking it too far and i should just forget and move on...Just wanted to share and vent this .
HelloG,
To further add :
I have been off and on outside India since 1979 and hence have a lot of experience per se in this. The situation of people living in Canada is mostly very different from how people live in the USA / Gulf (except for people in IT). Most of these people (except people in IT) live hand to mouth and it is very hard for us to give any more expensive gifts. Now most of my relatives ask for the Iphone (which I canot afford to buy it myself). People donot like electronics, food (Subway has 7 branches in Chennai alone which is a very backward metro), chocolates, Nike Shoes, Ray ban glasses any more. I am sure that they would care less for the $1 deals too.
People working outside of Canada, save much more than desi's in Canada. In the Gulf, I used to save 90% of my monthly salary and hence my buying potential was more. In Canada I normally spend 120% of my monthly salary every month and hence no savings per se.
In 2006, I happened to be along with a friend who had just come from Qatar and we both went to a restaurant to eat biriyani and we both offered to pay. My purse had some Rs. 400 + CAD 80 while his purse was loaded with atleast 20 notes of QR 100 ( 1 QR = Rs. 11) and while we were both in Saudi Arabia, he was earning less than me. Yes. I also agree with Hello G that being an NRI, we are expected to pay for each and everything. I would not blame them, b'cos the media has advertised that Canada is a land full of milk and honey and saying otherwise only makes them tell that we are "Kanju's" (Misers).
The main factor to impress your relatives is to buy stuff which is not in India. In 2006, one of my cousins asked me to bring the Nicotine patch (which was not in TN then). I did not buy it for him but if I had, Boy, I sure would have impressed him. As said before (for meat eating people) a tin of canned beef / chicken sausages would be great. For Teen's, Canada / USA T shirt would be status symbols for them. Giving them chocolates, Van Hesen's shirts, Nike Shoes, Police Sunglasses or the latest cellphone in available in Canada would only irritate them.
Hope this helps.
Peace
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Thanks guys for inputs. Feeling light now!
At least in know now that i do have fellows travelling in the same boat. Terms 'Farz' and 'Kanjos' are quite appropriate to describe the point as mentioned by Ben and TK.
TK liked your idea of stuff that can be taken and won't leave a big hole in wallet.I was feeling bad about myself to have those thoughts ..not anymore!
I will start keeping some money aside for such visits so that it doesn't come as a big blow next time!
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 07-07-08 19:48:31
Quote:
Originally posted by HelloG
Thanks guys for inputs. Feeling light now!
At least in know now that i do have fellows travelling in the same boat. Terms 'Farz' and 'Kanjos' are quite appropriate to describe the point as mentioned by Ben and TK.
TK liked your idea of stuff that can be taken and won't leave a big hole in wallet.I was feeling bad about myself to have those thoughts ..not anymore!
I will start keeping some money aside for such visits so that it doesn't come as a big blow next time!
Why would you spend so much money again the next time??
As the others have said, there is an assumption that when you return from "foreign" you obviously have picked up all the dollar bills lying on the streets here and you are rich now. It doesnt take much after all, its just getting ot Canada or the US and money is everywhere.
Trying to explain it doesnt matter unless you have relatives that have actually travelled outside of India.
If next time you find yourself paying for everything and spending too much money..whose fault is it? You can say NO. You have a choice.
I would just buy gifts of value for your nearest and dearest (close immediate family only) and buy generic gifts for everyone else.
Dont let yourself be victimized again.
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~ Morning rain
Quote:
Originally posted by morning_rain
Why would you spend so much money again the next time??
If next time you find yourself paying for everything and spending too much money..whose fault is it? You can say NO. You have a choice.
Oh no no! Keeping aside money so that i donot indulge again in impulsive buying and buying stuff as suggested by fellows here.
As far as saying NO goes,trust me, it is easier said than done esp when it has to do with your in-laws. Its like double trouble. Its about 'Farz' and I would say the impression, that people who put their foot outside India are 'Rich', has already been created and is beyond correction!!!
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 07-07-08 22:35:31
Quote:
Originally posted by HelloG
Quote:
Originally posted by morning_rain
Why would you spend so much money again the next time??
If next time you find yourself paying for everything and spending too much money..whose fault is it? You can say NO. You have a choice.
Oh no no! Keeping aside money so that i donot indulge again in impulsive buying and buying stuff as suggested by fellows here.
As far as saying NO goes,trust me, it is easier said than done esp when it has to do with your in-laws. Its like double trouble. Its about 'Farz' and I would say the impression, that people who put their foot outside India are 'Rich', has already been created and is beyond correction!!!
oh ok. You meant put the money away? sorry
Here's what you may want to do. Try to look for bargains year around on things you plan to buy. For example - if you want to take really nice makeup kits for the women in ur inlaws family - look for The Bay or Sears specials when you buy something and get a free bonus kit. Bonus kits are nice gifts too sometimes. You can add more little drug store cosmetics and lip glosses and tiny bottles of nail polish..
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~ Morning rain
Reminds of my first ever return trip to India. Two suitcases full of stuff which gave me enough hassles with Mumbai customs. Except for a couple of friends, no one even bothered to express even the slightest happiness for getting the same. Some were even top of what is happening in this side of the world and asked me 'why did you buy this, why not that?'... This was at at time all western goods were not even available in India. Now pretty much everything is there.
Anyways these days I don't bother to carry lots of stuff. Takes some t-shirts or caps or keychains or so with Canadian logos etc. Buy some cholates etc. in India after landing (All the chocolates which are available here are available there too)... If any way I am going to get complaints, I will as well save my money!
Thanks HelloG for starting the thread. Atleast I know now that I am not alone in this!
Ben: What you said is exactly what I have in mind.
Let me also vent a bit. Over the 9 yrs we are out the same happens (the first time exactly like Hello G, loads of money no appreciation, not even thanks). I've stopped buying gifts for anyone, be it family or friends or in laws, cash is the mantra. The last trip in March-08 I bought gift coupons for Rs. 1000, or more from malls and stores like India bulls, Archies, etc. They were much appreciated.
One little smart suggestion, if you want to shop in India go alone to markets or malls with your kids or hubby. Over the years I noticed when we are shopping; 3-4 people will tag along and shop on our expense. This trip I mainly stayed at home, spending time with parents and talking...talking. Going shopping over the years is the least thing on mind and spending time with parents takes over.
Jona
