I have a 2 yr old and hes going to baby sitter since he was 11 mths.
Now people keep telling me ...in one way or other....in one form or other .....that child needs a mother and he needs you at least until hes 3 or until he goes to school...and how can u leave him at baby sitters and why u need to work and so on and on....
I know some of u will say they are right, some of you will say, what I want is more imp. and some will say what they say shld not bother me....
But we all here do not live in an ideal situation that we get what we want...for me ideal wud be my mother or mother in law come and stay with us and take care of child and we work but that is not possible...
I like to work as much as I luv my child and I personally think staying home will not make my child any better .....but still when i hear such things i really start wondering if i am insensitive to my child / and his needs ? I am being too selfish ? or closing my eyes to avoid the truth ?
Any comments r welcome. What u think personally ?
Thx.
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 17-12-07 14:41:48
Aashu,
What you say is partially true. A child needs the mother's undivided attention atleast until 5 years of age. If you really need to cater to your child's psychological need then you should not only be with teh child but also take the child out everyday and make the child being aware of various out door activities like playing, Out door excercises, Shopping malls, playing with other people of your age group ect.. . It would be foolish to be with the child 24 hrs. a day but inside the house always or make the child watch TV while you cook and clean.
Also I have noticed that many day care providers smile and play with the child when you are there to leave the child but then after you go never care about the child and make the child watch TV or play with something in the house.
On the other hand, there are professional day cares which really do activities to stimulate the child (for e.g), They have hours devoted for playing, out door fun (even in the severe cold), sleeping, rhymes, story, craft etc... It is very much advantageous to put your child in those kind of daycares. Also there will be atleast 10 children with whom your child can play with. You can be with the child the whole evening/night and then every weekend. You should try to take the child outside during all weekend. You can go to IKEA where there are free toys / play areas for your child to playand enjoy.
Another way is to stagger your and your husband's work time. It can mean that your nusband work from 7 : 00 am to 3:00 pm and you from 9:00 am to 5:30 pm. In this case, your husband will wake up early and leave for office while you dress the child and drop the child in the day care. Your husband can pick up the child at 3:30 and this means that your child has more time to be with atleast a parent.
Hope this helps.
TK A
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aashu
I like to work as much as I luv my child and I personally think staying home will not make my child any better .....but still when i hear such things i really start wondering if i am insensitive to my child / and his needs ? I am being too selfish ? or closing my eyes to avoid the truth ?
Any comments r welcome. What u think personally ?
Thx.
Ashu our experience has been that it is not necessary to spend 24 hrs with the child ... my daughter went to day care when she was 18 months old ..... and this was in India. Even though i had my parents with me we decided to send her for day care as it gave her time for various activities. At home she would get bored and start crying a lot, but when we sent her to this day care (run by nuns) she would be playing and singing songs all day. They would also have sleep time in between.
I think leaving her in day care had a positive effect, she has been independent from a very young age & is able to mix around with other children very well.
Rest it is your own decision and you have to decide what is best for your situation.
I would say enjoy every moment with child. These are precious moments and it won’t come back. They grow too fast and one day we realize that we in old age care.
Quote:
Originally posted by Aashu
I like to work as much as I luv my child and I personally think staying home will not make my child any better .....but still when i hear such things i really start wondering if i am insensitive to my child / and his needs ? I am being too selfish ? or closing my eyes to avoid the truth ?
Any comments r welcome. What u think personally ?
Thx.
What you probably have to ask yourself is what would make you a better mother.
Staying at home and being frustrated(since you enjoy working) would probably not help you or the child.
Theres also the child...each child is unique, some would, like Puttoo says flourish and enjoy a daycare environment and others need more time with their parent/s before they are ready to spend 8+ hrs in the daycare.
In other words...you are the best one to know. Whatever anyone else says.
All the best.
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Another thing that you to remeber is that ..... if you work , will you be able to give enough attention to your kid after you are back from work. For us things were different as in India we had the support so we could practically spend all our time in the evenings with our kid. However here you would have to do things at home, so would you be able to give enough time to your kid?
I have a few of my family & friends who grew up here in US & Canada ..... they stayed at daycare during their younger days because their parents were working. They grew up ok , have good relationship with their parents etc.
So in the end it is your decision on how you would like to do it (of course that means you & your better half)
