My thoughts -

May you get the courage to change the things you can , accept the things you cannot change and wisdom to know the difference !

You did your best by applying and getting your parents to Canada . I m sure you have left no stone un turned for making their stay successful in Canada and that includes convincing them as well .

But in the end the outcome is not in your hands ... There are 2 parties to the process and decision and both opinions are equally important ... If they have spent time here and do not like it , let them go .... may be they change their mind after 6 months / 1 year when they miss their children and are able to compare the pros and conses .... may be they do not come back..

Either way you would have the satisfaction that you did not leave anything and did your best possible ... But in the end one should not impose one self...

Writing this as my parents are joining in a week and I expect a similar outcome !

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Fido.

@tamilkuravan

There's certainly more to Canada than the food banks, soup kitchens, Ikea breakfasts, free food samplings at Costco and free dole outs from the government of Canada!! ;-)

@foreverwaiting

Then pray, please tell me what it is.
Assuming that I am not in IT or Finance fields.

Murali Krishna

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

My 2c.
Uprooting parents at that age from India to west may not be a great idea. That too from bustling Mumbai. At that age they have their own circle/habits/routines/hobbies, etc. Its more of a mental torture for them than physical ailments. We moved back to take care of our seniors and we are happy that we made the right decision. Please note that each and every situation is different.

Thanks everyone for your opinions, I guess I have to accept what it is, The only reason I want them to stay is to renew their PR and if they go this time, they will not fulfill the 2 year criteria. I guess I have to accept this fact and move ahead and let them move ahead. It is difficult for me to move back to India since both me and my wife are not doing bad here and I just recently bought a house here and I plan to start my family here. I have worked quite hard to come here (invested in doing MBA here, have lots of debt) and it would be very difficult for me to give it up and go back. So I guess I will bring them on visitor visa if they want to come back at all or visit them every year or so. That’s how the life is I believe.

Speaking from personal experience, it is not a good idea to persuade parents to stay here if they are not happy. These are their golden years where the stress of fiscal responsibility for kids is finally gone and all that really matters is their happiness and health. It is not fair to get them to make major compromises on their present because you're worried about their future. With some planning, those future scenarios can be handled one way or the other.

My case was similar where my parents made a decision to go back (I was not thrilled but very supportive) and then come back again. They are settled here now and fortunately very happy.

Some things that help

1. Social circle -Without a good social life, they will naturally get bored here, especially given the weather. There are a number of senior programs and community events going on where you should get them to participate. From this, they can eventually build a circle of close friends.
2. Mobility - If they are in relatively good health, teach them how to use the bus so that they don't have to depend on you driving them every time. Believe it or not, this type of independent mobility is hugely liberating.
Aside from local travel, there are buses that go to Niagara falls from Sq. one, so they can travel on their own.
3. A good doctor - Can't stress enough the importance of this. You need to put in a bit of effort to find them a doctor they like and can talk to, preferably South Asian if language is a barrier. I find that at their age, their relationship with their doctor is almost as important as the actual quality of care. Talk to friends or do some research and find them a good doctor they can relate to, this is critical. My parents are very happy with the health care here because they feel they have a great physician.
4. Religious activities - Depending on how religious they are, take them to different temples or other places of worship from time to time.
5. Travel - If you have other family in North America, take them to visit from time to time or get your relatives to visit you. The sense of family and belonging here makes a difference too.
6. Work or Volunteering (especially for dads) - My Mom has been a homemaker all her life and is able to keep herself busy at home. Dad is a different story. If possible, encourage them to find some low-stress work or volunteering opportunities where they can feel the value of their contribution.
7. Language - There are courses available through community centers to teach seniors English. Use those. A basic command of the language such that they can travel/shop independently is very useful.


All in all, I have come to realize that the more effort we put into helping them live as independently here as possible, the happier they will be. Where possible, teach them how to do things vs. simply doing it for them. They need to feel that they're living their lives here as opposed to just being parents of someone who is living his/her life here.

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Originally posted by tamilkuravan

Assuming that they know English and can converse in English, then you can send them to community centres, food banks, IKEA breakfast areas for programmes. At lunch time, they can drop off at some soup kitchens for warm meals and kind words. Community centres have varied programes to help old people feel at home.

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