Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 02-04-07 12:54:58
Quote:
Originally posted by Iceberg
I do not know why some how I had a feeling MR is going to be the first one to respond to this post.
Hey - I am curious as to why DIO feels this way. I am a "western raised girl" married to a "Desi boy".
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~ Morning rain
M_R is smart enough to know the meaning. That’s why I emphasized in big letters (MAY NOT BE). To be fair to everyone, it’s the mistake of SOME OF THE boys in India who want to get out somehow and use marriage as a piggy back.
What puzzles me is why western raised girl's parents want desi born/bred boys? Why not they get their daughters married to a western raised boy? There is no trust here?
Same for western raised boys. Why the parents have to look for girls from India. Why not western raised girls?
DIO
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 02-04-07 14:21:14
Quote:
Originally posted by desi in ottawa
M_R is smart enough to know the meaning. That’s why I emphasized in big letters (MAY NOT BE). To be fair to everyone, it’s the mistake of SOME OF THE boys in India who want to get out somehow and use marriage as a piggy back.
What puzzles me is why western raised girl's parents want desi born/bred boys? Why not they get their daughters married to a western raised boy? There is no trust here?
Same for western raised boys. Why the parents have to look for girls from India. Why not western raised girls?
DIO
I understood your emphasis on "may not be".
I dont know why western raised women's families want Indian born Men or vice versa.
Perhaps idealism? The same idealism that Indian parents who came here 30 years ago use to view the India they left?
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~ Morning rain
I would not say its idealism. IMO, its the insecurity. If u see the movie, the dialogue between Rishi Kapoor and his wife is an eye opener. It' just a movie, but close to reality.
Aside, the story of the movie was told to Vipul Shah by Akki himself based on a real incident. And Akki is a PR in Canada. It could have been named as Namastey Toronto.
DIO
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 02-04-07 14:51:52
Please note : The following statement below just represents my general opinion and a result of my case studies. I am not directing this reply at any one particular individual of this forum and so please donot shoot me.
As far as i have seen and studied, Western raised Desi's marry a pucca desi as a result of their insecurities. They feel very insecure to marry a person who is a non desi. This is as a result of a combination of family pressure, disliking many aspects of the culture that they forcibly belong to, a feeeling of insecurity as to if they can assmilate 100% the non-desi culture, insecurity/ fear about if they can assimilate 100% to the relatives of the spouse etc.. In this case, marriage to a known culture (at atleast a culture known to the parents) seems safe and logical. The 2 main people who do this are Italians and Punjabi's (if i may say so). You must have also seen that a majority of cross cultural marriages happen between blacks and whites. This is mainly due to the fact that the blacks have been in this region for 300 years + and though their ancestory differs, culturally they are mostly compatible.
Also when the person's both parents speak Desi language, they naturally seek a spouse who can speak the language of the parents.
The main reason why such marriages fail is because many desi spouses fail the expectation of their Canadian counterpart with respect to smartness, ability to assimilate canadian atmosphere, ability to get a job and suppliment family earning, too much complaining about how good life was in India and how much hard work they have to do in Canada to get by life, too much being homesick etc....
My 2 cents
TK A
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
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The main reason why such marriages fail is because many desi spouses fail the expectation of their Canadian counterpart with respect to smartness, ability to assimilate canadian atmosphere, ability to get a job and suppliment family earning, too much complaining about how good life was in India and how much hard work they have to do in Canada to get by life, too much being homesick etc....
My 2 cents
TK A
You can call it "lack of Canadian experience"
puttoo,
LOL. u got it right.
As TK wrote,
"Also when the person's both parents speak Desi language, they naturally seek a spouse who can speak the language of the parents."
>>>interesting. So the spouse will talk to only wth the parents (in the language) rather than the married spouse?
