Your HM data sheet is worth a Million $.
Let see the lady CD members view.
Location: Private location
Posted on: 14-07-06 14:41:39
Quote:
Originally posted by AlbertaAspirants
Your HM data sheet is worth a Million $.
Let see the lady CD members view.
MSDS (Material Safety Data Sheet) For Men
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Element : Man
Symbol : Ah (short for Asshole)
Quantitative : Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4
inches.
Discoverer : Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for
ribs)
Occurrence : Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration
near a perfect Wo specimen.
Physical properties :
a) Surface often covered with hair; bristly in some areas, soft in others.
b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense,
melts if treated like a God.
c) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).
d) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.
e) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo
(Snore... zzzzz).
f) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.
g) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to
extremely thick.
h) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.
i) Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of
the Wo common ore.
j) When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when
subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied
Chemical properties :
a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
b) May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable
conditions.
c) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.
d) Usually willing to react with whatever is available.
e) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to pre-interaction effects
(which tend to turn the specimen bright red.
f) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
g) When saturated with alcohols, will be fairly inert and will repel most other
elements.
h) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
i) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the
malodorous variety.
j) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.
Storage :
a) Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable
reaction style.
Uses :
a) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
b) Can be used in recreational activities.
Tests :
a) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast
information on many wavelengths.
Caution :
a) Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to
a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very maleable under correct conditions.
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Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 14-07-06 14:43:55
Good comeback!!
LOL....
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~ Morning rain
Location: Private location
Posted on: 14-07-06 14:47:19
Quote:
Originally posted by morning_rain
Good comeback!!
LOL....
Thanks MR!
I fear this will turn into a men V woman thread...but here goes!
I got this today and thought it was pretty funny:
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves
whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the
feminine gender ("la computadora"
, because:1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be
Masculine ("el computador"
, because:1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
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Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple; and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor?
(Scroll down for the answer)
>> >
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Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke. Men keep scrolling.
>> >
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So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
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**** Men Keep scrolling
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By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.
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I have only 2 cents to contribute, not a cent more, not a cent less ;-)
Location: Private location
Posted on: 14-07-06 15:35:13
Quote:
Originally posted by my2cents
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple; and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor?
(Scroll down for the answer)
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke. Men keep scrolling.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
>> >
>> >
**** Men Keep scrolling
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.
That was a good one!
Now it's really starting to feel like a FRIDAY!!!
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Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
1) My wife gives me sound advise..99% sound and 1% advise!!
2) what do website and women have in common?......they both get lots of hits!!
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S. kanji
I may not agree with your opinions, but I will fight to death for you be able to air your views.
