So, it's Friday! Mother of all days

I'm not sure where this belong to.
Life? General? or Have-Fun ?
For many, it's might be kind of "good to know" thing. Might not be just-fun.

I'll just let the flow decide

We've all came across this.
Classic example that come almost once a year ..
"You are doing a great job, BUT ... " which actually means "You barely do your job. But I don't want you to be upset".

So, here is a compiled list. What the words are, v/s, what it really means. Enjoy!

. "I don't know anything thing about ..."
"I don't know a thing about your stuff, but how hard could it be compared to what I'm doing?"

. "My job is to be a buffer between you and upper management."
"Your job is to make me look good to upper management."

. "We value your criticism and ideas."
"If you're so smart, how come I'm a manager and you're not?"

. "We set reasonable deadlines, and we never underbid our projects... so our employees don't need to work weekends."
"Since when is Saturday part of the weekend?"

. "I know you're working hard now, but we'll make it up to you later."
"Riiiiiiiight."

. "Hey, you're preaching to the choir here. I'm on your side. But upper management just doesn't get it."
"You just don't get it."

. "We empower our employees to do whatever it takes for the customer."
"You gave that guy a refund?! What the #@&! were you thinking?"

. "Nobody is getting a raise this year."
"Nobody at your level is getting a raise this year."

. "My job is to hire good people and get out of their way."
"But so far, I've never had an employee that didn't need micromanaging."

. "I won't tell you how to do your job."
"...as long as you do it exactly the way I would do it."

. "We provide ongoing, comprehensive training for our employees."
"Joe will show you around this afternoon, and then you're on your own. Oh, and your first TPS report is due tomorrow."

. "You've got upper management written all over you."
"Finally someone who does exactly what I tell him to without question."

. "Don't hesitate to speak up during meetings."
"...as long as it's to compliment me on the great job I'm doing."

. "I really went to bat for you, but upper management just wouldn't budge."
"Oh, yeah, like I would actually risk my job for you..."

. "When this project is over, we'll talk about the promotion. I promise."
"I've already forgotten we had this conversation."

. "We have a great career track for non-managers."
"Let's face it, blue-collars just don't have leadership potential."

.. and the list goes on ..

ROTFL, good one.

Here is one more:
"we need more data"
"you work is crap and should be used to wipe #$*"

DIO


"when you hire clowns, there are only circus acts"