Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after
his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a
brand new Porsche screeches to a halt.
The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit,
Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer
wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and
asks the Shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep
you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at
the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to
the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the
Ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel
tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then
prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech
mini-printer.
He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly
1,586 sheep here."
The shepherd cheers,"that's correct, you can have your
sheep."
The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back
of his Porsche.
The shepherd looks at him and asks:
"If I guess your profession, will you return my animal
to me?"
The young man answers, "Yes, why not".
The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant ".
How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came
here without being called. Second, you charged me a
fee to tell me something I already knew, and third,
you don't understand anything about my business...
Now can I have my DOG back?"
Have a Nice day!!!
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Sanjeev Manocha, MBA
Real Estate Sales Representative
Accredited Buyer Representative (ABR)
Re/Max West Realty Inc, Brokerage
96, Rexdale Blvd., Toronto
Mobile: 416-843-7600
Office: 416-745-2300
http://www.manocharealty.com" rel="nofollow">LINK
good one sanjeev. I cant stop giggling.
Hiren
That's why IT companies pay big bucks to IT consultants becuase they extract money out of client for nothing. IT companies retain a big % and give peanuts to the consultants. (Smile)
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 13-03-06 13:28:33
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Here's an old one...
So there's this guy who goes to a pet shop to buy a pet monkey. The pet shop owner greets him and asks him what he's looking for. He says that he's looking for something really special...so the pet shop owner takes him into another section and shows him around. There's a bunch of monkeys with all kinds of price tags on the cages.
The man points to a $100 monkey and asks what's so special about him. The pet shop owner goes "Oh well, this fella here can do tricks like no other monkey can. He can ride a bike, skateboard, jump hoops and juggle balls!"
Then the man points to a monkey with a $1000 price tag. "What about him"? The pet shop owner says "This guy here...he's unbelievable. He's a programmer, can code in VB, C++, C#, you name it. He knows a whole bunch of databases as well and can build you software applications faster than most humans!!"
The man is stunned! He's wondering how that's possible when in the corner, he notices a monkey with a $100,000 price tag!! Ashtonished, he asks the shopkeeper "$100,000!!! What can this guy do???"
The shopkeeper replies "Oh, I have no clue. But he says he's a consultant!"
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Are you there?
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 13-03-06 14:41:21
Quote:
Orginally posted by BlueLobster
The man is stunned! He's wondering about how that's possible when in the corner, he noticed a monkey with a $100,000 price tag!! Ashtonished, he asks the shopkeeper "$100,000!!! What can this guy do???"
The shopkeeper replies "Oh, I have no clue. But he says he's a consultant!"
How true !! Dana, an automotive supplier that declared bankruptcy last week or so, revealed in their securities filing that they are paying $250,000 US per month (yeah, per month) to two restructuring consultants
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Dimple2001
Quote:
Orginally posted by dimple2001
How true !! Dana, an automotive supplier that declared bankruptcy last week or so, revealed in their securities filing that they are paying $250,000 US per month (yeah, per month) to two restructuring consultants
No wonder they went bankrupt if they are paying like this.
