Mother -in-Law visiting from India!!!!!
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Hi,
Just wanted to get some opinions on MIL,s [mother -in-laws] visiting from INDIA.
They want daughter in laws [DIL] to work hard at home, after DIL,s return from work in the evening, after a long day at work, traffic etc. etc.
The first question asked is "what to cook for the dinner". on the other hand when husbands come home, " they are tired from work" they shud be given tea and snacks right away.
Husbands can not wash dishes or help wife in the kitchen as mothers dont like sons working in the kitchen.
Then we have to watch all those useless Indian serials. We can not watch channel of our choice/news as they come all day [when we r not home!!!!]
Sometimes it is too much. They expect us to behave in the same way as we were in India, housewife, doing all vrats, keep the baby all the time, let her do whatever she likes------
Anyone else have similar experience????
cry:
Are you a DIL or a MIL?
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 27-07-06 15:57:29
Quote:
Originally posted by smiley1
Hi,
Just wanted to get some opinions on MIL,s [mother -in-laws] visiting from INDIA.
They want daughter in laws [DIL] to work hard at home, after DIL,s return from work in the evening, after a long day at work, traffic etc. etc.
The first question asked is "what to cook for the dinner". on the other hand when husbands come home, " they are tired from work" they shud be given tea and snacks right away.
Husbands can not wash dishes or help wife in the kitchen as mothers dont like sons working in the kitchen.
Then we have to watch all those useless Indian serials. We can not watch channel of our choice/news as they come all day [when we r not home!!!!]
Sometimes it is too much. They expect us to behave in the same way as we were in India, housewife, doing all vrats, keep the baby all the time, let her do whatever she likes------
Anyone else have similar experience????
Although its not possible to generalize, it may be what they are used to (ie/ gender roles) and what happens in your household is upto you.
My MIL lives with us - however she does the cooking (she really enjoys it). This frees me up to do other things when i get home from work.
A lot depends on your husband's attitude/outlook. Does he expect to be served tea when he gets home from work? Perhaps the problem is more about your husband's expectations ( which is a lot easier to work on than MIL's sometimes!!)
Get another TV if possible.
Another thing is having your spouse's support. Is your husband willing to stand up on ur side for things you really believe in? Wish to do/have even if his parents do not agree?
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~ Morning rain
Location: Private location
Posted on: 27-07-06 16:25:58
Quote:
Originally posted by smiley1
Hi,
Just wanted to get some opinions on MIL,s [mother -in-laws] visiting from INDIA.
They want daughter in laws [DIL] to work hard at home, after DIL,s return from work in the evening, after a long day at work, traffic etc. etc.
The first question asked is "what to cook for the dinner". on the other hand when husbands come home, " they are tired from work" they shud be given tea and snacks right away.
Husbands can not wash dishes or help wife in the kitchen as mothers dont like sons working in the kitchen.
Then we have to watch all those useless Indian serials. We can not watch channel of our choice/news as they come all day [when we r not home!!!!]
Sometimes it is too much. They expect us to behave in the same way as we were in India, housewife, doing all vrats, keep the baby all the time, let her do whatever she likes------
Anyone else have similar experience????
My MIL and FIL are visiting at the moment. Right now they are with my BIL (brother in law) and his family but when they stay with us, the situation is similar to yours. Although my MIL likes to cook (sometimes), I prefer to cook in my own kitchen because she makes a real mess
I work full time too so understand that preparing dinner can be tiresome...all those ready ground masalas are very useful (ground ginger, green chillies, garlic, etc) and also fried onions. This makes making dinner a breeze. I don't use the ready prepared stuff all the time but it's easy, convenient and quick when you're in a hurry or very tired and need to feed a family! Frozen cut veggie packets are helpful too.
Has your MIL already arrived? If not, then when you normally make dinner, make extra and freeze it. When making rotis, make enough dough to last a few days (I don't like the ready made rotis)
Plus, you need to tell your hubby to give you a hand...he is not the only one who works outside of the house. Even if he just cleans up after cooking/eating, it is a huge help. Witht he right motivation, I'm sure you'll get him to do anything!
If all else fails...order pizza!
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Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
At last someone like me!!
she is already here fro 6 months almost!!!
Forget about Freezing the rotis and all, she wont let us eat leftover rice next day!!
I agree completly about the mess on the stove, milk spilled in the burners, tea pan is a big mess, dish drainer never emptied out, no help in the washroom cleaning or dusting the house, not even her own room!!
Husbands u know, when mom is around they become like ideal sons, never ideal husbands!!
Location: Private location
Posted on: 27-07-06 16:51:21
Quote:
Originally posted by smiley1
At last someone like me!!
she is already here fro 6 months almost!!!
Forget about Freezing the rotis and all, she wont let us eat leftover rice next day!!
I agree completly about the mess on the stove, milk spilled in the burners, tea pan is a big mess, dish drainer never emptied out, no help in the washroom cleaning or dusting the house, not even her own room!!
Husbands u know, when mom is around they become like ideal sons, never ideal husbands!!
6 months is along time to be waiting hand and foot on anyone, let alone your MIL. I think you need to have a chat with the hubby and explain how you feel.
Don't you have any other relatives she could go stay with to give you guys a breather?
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Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 27-07-06 16:52:49
Quote:
Originally posted by smiley1
At last someone like me!!
she is already here fro 6 months almost!!!
Forget about Freezing the rotis and all, she wont let us eat leftover rice next day!!
I agree completly about the mess on the stove, milk spilled in the burners, tea pan is a big mess, dish drainer never emptied out, no help in the washroom cleaning or dusting the house, not even her own room!!
Husbands u know, when mom is around they become like ideal sons, never ideal husbands!!
Mine doesnt like the idea of leftovers either. I guess thats a north american thing??
And yeah..mess on the stove..the floor the cupboards etc etc.
Do you guys grind your own spices? thats a lot of work!!
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~ Morning rain
