Hi,
I'm posting something I found very funny. Hope the members of CD take the joke in the right spirit. Mods, please remove this thread if it is offending.
Cheers,
Ayaskant.
DOG CALLED SEX
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him \"Rover\" or \"Spot\". I
called mine \"Sex.\"
Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the cityhall to
renew the dog's license for Sex, I told the clerk I'd like a license for
Sex.
He said.. \"I would like to have one too!\".
Then I said \"she is a dog!!\". He said he didn't care what she looked like.
I said \"You don't understand. I had Sex since I was 9 years old.\"
He replied \"You must have been quite a strong boy.\"
When I decided to get married I told the minister that I would like to have
Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.
I said \"But Sex has played a big part in my life and it revolves around
Sex.\" He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not
marry us in his church. I told him everybody would like to have Sex at the
wedding. The next day we were married at the justice of peace. My family is
barred from the church.
When my wife and I went on out honeymoon I took the dog with me. When we
checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my
wife and a special room for Sex.
He said \"Every room in the motel is a place for sex\". I said \"You don't
understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.\" The clerk said \"Me too!\".
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, Sex
ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I
told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should
have sold my own tickets. I said \"You don't understand! I hoped to have Sex
on TV!!\". He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the
dog. I said \"Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married, but Sex left me
after I was married.\" The judge said \"Me too!!\"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop
came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the
morning. I said \"I'm looking for Sex.\"
My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I have been thrown in jail, been divorced, and had more damn
troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I
went for my first session with my psychiatrist she asked me \"What seems to
be the trouble?\"
I replied \"Sex has been my best friend all of my life..but now it has left
me forever. I couldn't possibly live any longer as I'm so lonely.\"
The doctor said \"Look mister, you should understand sex isn't a man's best
friend, so go and get yourself a dog\".
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Success
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded. Bessie Stanley
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 10-07-06 12:50:02
I don't see anything offending. It's pretty funny.
That reminds me....one of my co-worker had a cat that he named her "shit-head". The poor creature had the name because she had a medical condition that prevented her from controlling her bowel movement.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dimple2001
Location: Private location
Posted on: 10-07-06 13:09:07
Quote:
Originally posted by dimple2001
I don't see anything offending. It's pretty funny.
That reminds me....one of my co-worker had a cat that he named her "shit-head". The poor creature had the name because she had a medical condition that prevented her from controlling her bowel movement.
Poor cat - I hoped she pooped on her owner for giving her such a terrible name.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 10-07-06 14:17:47
Quote:
Originally posted by Pink Panther
Poor cat - I hoped she pooped on her owner for giving her such a terrible name.
I bet she did. However, the owner had a maid full time to take care of the cat. So, no abuse there.
Anyway, the cat doesn't care whether you call her Darling or Shit head. It just needs some great TLC
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dimple2001
PP, I have heard of a proud owner of a horse who was left covered with Horse Poo, one day. 
Cheers
Poor cat - I hoped she pooped on her owner for giving her such a terrible name.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The feathers of a flamingo in adulthood range from light pink to bright red, due to carotenoids obtained from their food supply. A flamingo that is well fed and healthy is vibrantly coloured. The pinker a flamingo is, the more desirable it is as a mate. A white or pale flamingo, however, is usually unhealthy or suffering from a lack of food.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Success
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded. Bessie Stanley
Location: Private location
Posted on: 12-07-06 09:29:00
Well, the owner should have known better than to be standing there!!
Quote:
Originally posted by ayaskant
PP, I have heard of a proud owner of a horse who was left covered with Horse Poo, one day.
Cheers
Poor cat - I hoped she pooped on her owner for giving her such a terrible name.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The feathers of a flamingo in adulthood range from light pink to bright red, due to carotenoids obtained from their food supply. A flamingo that is well fed and healthy is vibrantly coloured. The pinker a flamingo is, the more desirable it is as a mate. A white or pale flamingo, however, is usually unhealthy or suffering from a lack of food.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
