Location: God's own country
Posted on: 29-03-06 18:34:30
Hello,
I was invited to a desi birthday party (for a 6 year old girl) last saturday. All people invited were people in the IT industry and who were in Canada on work permit. There was just one more family on PR.
I was the first one to arrive and i had bought a gift.
All the desi's who came to that birthday party came without a gift. I watched each and every indivdual that came. All of them get min. $20 an hour and work just 37.5 hours a week.
Why are people like this? Can anyone explain?
TK
Sidenote : 60 % of those who came were Tamils. Our hosts were vegetarian but they had really spent money on preparing and buying food.
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 29-03-06 19:05:50
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
Hello,
I was invited to a desi birthday party (for a 6 year old girl) last saturday. All people invited were people in the IT industry and who were in Canada on work permit. There was just one more family on PR.
I was the first one to arrive and i had bought a gift.
All the desi's who came to that birthday party came without a gift. I watched each and every indivdual that came. All of them get min. $20 an hour and work just 37.5 hours a week.
Why are people like this? Can anyone explain?
TK
Sidenote : 60 % of those who came were Tamils. Our hosts were vegetarian but they had really spent money on preparing and buying food.
Etiquette says you did the right thing.
I cant believe people would go to a child's birthday party empty handed. It doesnt matter how much money you make. It shows their lack of manners and social know how (unless they slipped the kid some money or gave it to the parents when you werent looking).
so if 60% of those that came were Tamils.. does that mean its Tamil culture not to bring gifts????
*cheeky*
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~ Morning rain
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 29-03-06 19:29:41
Hello MR,
In Tamil Culture you have to bring a gift. The problem is that Desi's start the rupee / Dollar conversion. The people who came to the party might have got rs. 20 when they were kids as gift. So a $10 gift to them converts into rs. 350. Maybe that might be the reason. I have found that many desi's are very stingy here. I donot know exactly why.
I lived for 2 years in Canada with 3 Desi's in my home. What they demanded from me was :
1. Cook and wash one desi's plates while he was on the internet / looking for a job ( i could not prevent that b'cos the other 2 helped me to cook/ wash utensils)
2. Two desi's wanted me to give my settlement funds to them w/o interest which they will send to india and then pay me in bits when they get a job and earn money (refused).
3. one desi wanted me to buy a cellphone on contract from rogers and then loan it to hime for 2 months and then take it back after 2 months. He was willing to pay the phone bill for the 2 months he used (refused)
4. one desi unwilling to buy a matress slept on the curtain cloth that i got from India.
5. 1 desi did not buy any matress but he told me to place my matress longitudinally and we both slept on it. our leg would be on the floor.
6. 2 desi's wanted me to go out and buy all the provisions for the week even in -30 deg. cent. winter b'cos i was the only one with TTC monthly pass (Obliged)
7. 1 desi had never taken the TTC for 2 years after he came to Canada. He got a job at a nearby Gas station and used to walk to it. In 1 year after he came he saved around 7-8 Lakhs . he put 2-3 lakhs more and bought a property in Bangalore in 2003 for 10 Lakhs. Today it worth rs. 30 Lakhs.
Needless to say, 2 of the stingiest desi's that i had been with are doing very well. They have their own furniture/ Car now and when i go to their homes they give me food without asking me any money.
So this is my experience with Desi's in Canada. It has been a learning experience for me.
TK
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Generally, the guests are known to each other in most cases. Even if they are not known, Evite (Electronic Invitation website) has some facility to get to know the other guests or send them email without knowing their email address actually (to protect their privacy),
This way, guest can get in touch, exchange some views, buy one thing which is really worth for the kid/parents and share the cost.
This helps the kids to get a good one instead of 100 candy packs or other small stuff.. On the other hand, its less expensive, Guests will be able to attend the party with no bad feelings of non contribution plus there is no room to compare one gift with others and etc., etc.,
The catch is one/some one has to volunteer to run this leaving the ego aside....
What do you guys think?
JRF.
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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 29-03-06 20:19:04
Quote:
Originally posted by JRF
Generally, the guests are known to each other in most cases. Even if they are not known, Evite (Electronic Invitation website) has some facility to get to know the other guests or send them email without knowing their email address actually (to protect their privacy),
This way, guest can get in touch, exchange some views, buy one thing which is really worth for the kid/parents and share the cost.
This helps the kids to get a good one instead of 100 candy packs or other small stuff.. On the other hand, its less expensive, Guests will be able to attend the party with no bad feelings of non contribution plus there is no room to compare one gift with others and etc., etc.,
The catch is one/some one has to volunteer to run this leaving the ego aside....
What do you guys think?
JRF.
Do people give candy to kids as birthday gifts??
I would assume regardless if the gift is a large shared venture or a small one..each gift would be at least $20-$30 in value. Or each contribution. It depends on how close you are to the family and the child. Also - ask the parents before buying a $500 combined gift
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~ Morning rain
Is it possible that the parents might have communicated in advance regarding not bringing any gifts ?
Really weired that none except you brought gift.
I would say it's not at all related to any culture or community.
Regarding gifts, I'd like to add this - also include a gift rcpt.
TK, that "stingy" list is totally valid if all you have are just short term goals!
I think ... living alone is better than living with uncultured and stupid people.
Try to live away from that type of community or group of people.
You can make as much as friend you want all over world if ready to spend money on them.
