No 1
There's this couple who file for divorce. They have a 7 year old son. The couple fight for the custody of the child in court. the mother's lawyer puts up a very good fight and after a while it seems quite apparent that the mother will win the custody of the child. Just before announcing the verdict...the judge asks the father of the child if he has to say anything. The father thinks for sometime and says that well if there is a coke wending machine..and i put a coin into it...will the coke be mine or the machine's?
He wins the custody of the child

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No 2
A bus stops and two Italian men get on.They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is
galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one last time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this............"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
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ani