*****MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT**************
There was a glass of water on the table...
One man says, "It's half full". He is an optimist.
Second man says, "It's half empty". He is a pessimist.
Third man says, "It's twice as big as you need, downsize". He is a management consultant.

****** BAD LUCK ****************
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?

You have been with me through all the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side...You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, get the hell away from me."




Hiren

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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank.
If you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
- Bill Maher