I was not sure where to put this but did any one see the movie. its atrue story. CBS did a expopse on the story. Its sad that people like this exsist in our mitst and they are willing to Kill their own children for "IZAT" Its about this girl who grew up in BC and was being forced to marry a man 40 yrs her senior and she went back to Punjab and met a boy and fell in Love. she went back and married him and her parents got her killed. the hired killers are in Jail in India. but the parents here have got scott free. RCMP is doing nothing. Such ppl give out culture and ppl are bad name. Indians are supposed to be the most tollerant of ppl. we come to a foriegn land and want all the best but are not willing to let go off the backward thinking.
its a Shame that we are not willing to pick the good of both the cultures. both Indian and Canadian. we want our children to get all the benefits of canadian society biut they should live and do the same as in backward India.
I know we all go throughthe same dellima that how to keep our roots. One has to learn to pick the best from our culture and take that forward rather than just believe only because "thats how it has been" If we carried on doing that we would still have SATI pratha, CAST system,Bonded labour, all these evil practices of our culture were uprooted and thrown away. We talk about Women being RESPECTED like goddesses - bt we need to practice it too. WE as ppl who have mooved away are in a better position to get rid of such evils because we dont have the society pressure that is in INdia. We can make the differance.
There seems to be a misconception amongst us here that HINDI MOVIES is our culture. I have 2 children and they know about our scriptures and they understand our language and I know that as they grow up they will also want to speak it. but I do not encourage Hindi movies because not only do most of them teach poor and foul language but also wrong Ideas. (there is aa CID programme on TV which they are copping CSI and they show a doctor removing a bullet from a body and can u believe it a whole bullet. some how the killer shot the whole bullet casing and all into the man) thats just a example of the shoddy work and incorrect information that most shows give. I am not saying there are no good movies. but that the majority is poor and irresponsibloe work.
Getting back to this story I cant blv how a parent can order a murder of his or her own child , simply because she didi somthing that they didnt like.
I would honestly like everyones views on this. DO WE WANT A CULTURE THAT IS CLEAN AND PURE OR DO WE WANT TO FOLLOW THINGS ONLY BEACUSE THAT IS WHAT OUR PREDECCESORS DID?
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 07-02-06 12:25:05
Quote:
Orginally posted by Janmeja
I was not sure where to put this but did any one see the movie. its atrue story. CBS did a expopse on the story. Its sad that people like this exsist in our mitst and they are willing to Kill their own children for "IZAT" Its about this girl who grew up in BC and was being forced to marry a man 40 yrs her senior and she went back to Punjab and met a boy and fell in Love. she went back and married him and her parents got her killed. the hired killers are in Jail in India. but the parents here have got scott free. RCMP is doing nothing. Such ppl give out culture and ppl are bad name. Indians are supposed to be the most tollerant of ppl. we come to a foriegn land and want all the best but are not willing to let go off the backward thinking.
its a Shame that we are not willing to pick the good of both the cultures. both Indian and Canadian. we want our children to get all the benefits of canadian society biut they should live and do the same as in backward India.
I know we all go throughthe same dellima that how to keep our roots. One has to learn to pick the best from our culture and take that forward rather than just believe only because "thats how it has been" If we carried on doing that we would still have SATI pratha, CAST system,Bonded labour, all these evil practices of our culture were uprooted and thrown away. We talk about Women being RESPECTED like goddesses - bt we need to practice it too. WE as ppl who have mooved away are in a better position to get rid of such evils because we dont have the society pressure that is in INdia. We can make the differance.
There seems to be a misconception amongst us here that HINDI MOVIES is our culture. I have 2 children and they know about our scriptures and they understand our language and I know that as they grow up they will also want to speak it. but I do not encourage Hindi movies because not only do most of them teach poor and foul language but also wrong Ideas. (there is aa CID programme on TV which they are copping CSI and they show a doctor removing a bullet from a body and can u believe it a whole bullet. some how the killer shot the whole bullet casing and all into the man) thats just a example of the shoddy work and incorrect information that most shows give. I am not saying there are no good movies. but that the majority is poor and irresponsibloe work.
Getting back to this story I cant blv how a parent can order a murder of his or her own child , simply because she didi somthing that they didnt like.
I would honestly like everyones views on this. DO WE WANT A CULTURE THAT IS CLEAN AND PURE OR DO WE WANT TO FOLLOW THINGS ONLY BEACUSE THAT IS WHAT OUR PREDECCESORS DID?
I saw the movie last night. I think the murder happened in 2000. Its sickening to imagine a parent doing this to their own daughter.
Do you think the mother did this due to culture... or just her own status issues? The girls' family are wealthy landowners and wanted her to marry someone they chose who is 'suitable'. She chose someone who had little money.
About Hindi movies...I grew up watching them (80's-90's) and thats where I learnt to speak Hindi.
Last year, a man stabbed his 17 year old daughter to death in BC, because she was dating a non-Indian. You wont believe how much sympathy the man got on the Indian radio station here in BC - imagine what the poor father is going through...he has his reputation to think about etc. (was said).
What do you say when people have this mentality?
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~ Morning rain
HI Morning rain: thanks for your feedback : I have heard that the Indian punjabis that settled in BC are bascically from small backward villages and they mostly do farming. they stay in a closed communities and even the children are sent to community schools just like in punjab where they have no contact whats so ever with the outside world. they get married to men from punjab. So it is in all ways a reconstruction of a closed punjab village. it is horrifying to think that no matter what the pressure is - one is willing to kill ones own flesh and blood.
I met a canadian from BC recently and he was so surprised to see us mixing with the local population here, he told me about these farmand he said that it was partly the fault of the govt because they encourage communities . like when you apply for immigration they ask you whearthe you have a community that will help you here. but I think by doing that they feel that immigrants have a better chance to settle and stay.
We have this "SUPPERIORITY COMPLEX" we think we are better than the "GORA" ( I detest that word - it sounds like reverse racism to me" i dont like being called "DESI " or "BLACK" such phrases seperate us . I know it is possible to retain ones roots and yet intergrate into the population. BEING Indian is somthing no one can take from us or our children. BUt when one sees such stories in the news it takes away our pride. it shows us to be a inferior race. but in truth we are the oldest and richest culture. we keep our families together. we take care of our old and young. our children do not leave home at 16 and pay rent to us for living in our homes. our children go to college and become doctors and engineers. that is what our culture is not burning brides and slave children, or satis,
this movie upset me so much.
Location: Western Hemisphere
Posted on: 07-02-06 12:57:02
I was going to write this in the other thread "What we need to know as a parent". But, I guess, the contents sort of apply here as well.
I have a cousin. She lives in Chennai. She knew a guy as early as she was in her high school. Once she graduated with her bachelor's, she wanted to marry this guy. But she was scared s**tless because of her father. Her mom, grandma and I think my mom as well, all knew about it, but were scared to discuss with her dad.
Her father is a man that even his 9 siblings came to hate because of his limitless temper, arrogance, ego, boastfulness, etc etc. Anyway, because of that fear, my cousin and this guy married secretly. This guy is a bengali (good fish dishes..hmm.hmmm !).
After their secret registered wedding, they went to her father and requested that they be married (without telling him that they already have). And he threw a temper tantrum, called every relative in southern part of India, cried his heart out, declared that his daughter was as good as dead, called and insulted my parents (!!) because I at that time had decided to marry someone I loved (go figure that link), and he thought my bad influence and my “lack of culture/values” had trickled down from me (in NA) to her (in India). Never mind the fact that my parents had no problem whom I married.
The dad simply declared that his daughter had violated every values and culture he was brought up with, blah, blah, blah.....
Best of all, he had a bunch of male relatives meet this husband guy and threaten him. So, these goons went to this guy, told him they were CBI officers (Central Bureau of Investigation) !!!!! and they threatened to void the marriage. When this girl finally caught up with these "CBI" goons, she recognised them as her uncles and relatives and asked them to shove it.
Sounds like a bollywood movie?
I continue to blame the father, because, if only he had been a true father, and not some claimant of "cultures and values", if only he had been approachable to be talked to, if only my cousin was able to talk it out rather than do it behind his back, he would have been able to guide her into the right path. I say this because of the not-so-bollywood ending of her story.
She found out he had all along been having an affair and she is now divorced.
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Dimple2001
I think the key is that we should teach our children what we think is best and then let them choose their own lives. good or bad ,right or wrong. it will be their choice and ones own self to blame. If your cousin had not been scared sh**less of her dad , she may have not made a mistake but going into a hurried marriage. she was in such a hurry to get married that she might have seen the guy in a lot diff light. My dad was a very conservative man but there was nothing that I could not have talked to him abou. even when he didnt like somthing he would simply let me know his opinion and then i was free to do what i wanted. there were times when i did just the opposite - he was always supportive and there when I cried my eyes out. i hope i can be that way for my kids. they have to fly out of the nest somday and we will not be there always to help so they need to learn by making their own mistakes.
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 07-02-06 13:57:07
Quote:
Orginally posted by Janmeja
I met a canadian from BC recently and he was so surprised to see us mixing with the local population here, he told me about these farmand he said that it was partly the fault of the govt because they encourage communities . like when you apply for immigration they ask you whearthe you have a community that will help you here. but I think by doing that they feel that immigrants have a better chance to settle and stay.
...
we keep our families together. we take care of our old and young. our children do not leave home at 16 and pay rent to us for living in our homes. our children go to college and become doctors and engineers. that is what our culture is not burning brides and slave children, or satis,
this movie upset me so much.
Your last comment about the moving upsetting you reminded me of something I once read. If we could feel even 1% of the pain someone else does when we hurt them (whether mentally or physically) there would be no murder...torture..hurt etc. Same with this - This hits us right between the eyes - Its been done, there was no reason for it except selfishness (IMO).
BC has a large Desi population with all occupations covered. I dont think its all farmers..but there are quite a few. However "the fault of the govt"..is a handy excuse when things dont work as we want them to
The Immigration dept is developing initiatives to attract people to smaller cities..not 'ghettoize' them into larger cities.
Unless one speaks very little english, its possible to settle and integrate into a community with very few desis. My parents did it ! Many people in our community came in at times where there were few desi's. Guess what. They did it!
on a lighter note: is it culture why we become doctors and engineers?
Its always been a joke for 2nd gens that I know that say their parents allow them total freedom in career choice: Doctor , Lawyer OR engineer
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~ Morning rain
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 07-02-06 14:00:46
Sorry to hear about your cousin.
Youare right though.. control and tyranny wasnt required..guidance and support was for your cousin.
Interesting isnt it? People use the "cultural values" card when they want someone else (usually their child) to do what they want them to.
Why not call it what it is - Control?
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~ Morning rain
