Posted on: 10-04-14 07:00:45
Re. all the above posts, like all others I came here too with the "just for the kids" attitude and also for us keeping in mind and of course considering that Canada is a better place for them as going back to India after having been born and raised upto grade 5 in the gulf, would be difficult for them in terms of infrastructure and a good quality of life. Yes, it meant completely uprooting and unplugging for us from a good life and good income - we went thro a real rough phase as all others where jobs, career were concerned and financial crunch which meant living out of our savings for the two years since we came and are still not settled where jobs are concerned. Mentally we have gone thru all kinds of lows (can't remember any significant highs!) starting from scratch right from the day we arrived at this airport!
My question is : After having taken this plunge and relocating in the name of the kids and for our so called betterment, after having come with an open mind just to be taken aback in terms of job opportunities and having to face all kinds of challenges here, money crunch, I still feel yes, Canada may be a better country in some respects, but I would like to ask this question to fellow members - is it worth taking this big plunge considering the crisis and havoc we go thru in terms of jobs, career, finances, struggling life overall esp after having gone thru this in your 20s to restart from ground zero again in your early 40s? My kids excelled in the gulf, they are still excelling here and they would probably excel where ever they may go...its easy for them to adapt to change, but not for the parents. Most of the time, I feel I am tired here with all the housework and mental strain, I am not the same chirpy person I used to be and most of the time I am unable to have the same happy look on my face that I had when I was in the gulf. We could have retired from the gulf and lived like a king back home with a reasonable kitty , but here I will continue to struggle and it will be the same hand to mouth situation no idea for how long. Our kids will not even probably remember the sacrifice we did and the bad days we go thru, as it will be looked upon as our duty. Yes, they say happiness is a state of the mind, but how long can you fool your mind when your heart is not happy??? It doesn't make sense living your life like a zombie just because the kids may like it...does it??? Their happiness is our happiness of course, but not to the extent that we are living in stress mode all the time! Don't we have a life too?? End of the day, our struggles and stress affects them too. Yes, am ready to return to my homeland without regrets but would love to hear what the members think and feel about this typical situation which many of us go thru which would help me gain some clarity in my mind and probably also help new immigrants to think about their decisions wisely.
Well this is a strange topic! Do you expect your kids will support you or care or you in old age? And what if they grow up to be fully westernized and say "sorry dad, ain't got no time" or we need privacy in our own home, but we can help find a good nursing home for you! India was good enough for you to learn and make big plans to serve the gora masters in West. Why do you think your sons (or daughters, are they allowed such leeway?) couldn't make such decisions in their time? Bottomline is: I came here hoping to provide best that west has to offer to my GRANDKIDS. 
However, most of my efforts in the US, and now here yielded only short-term (a few months) or worse weekend affairs of love! I guess I have to postpone the grandkids for a very long time to come.
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Originally posted by GlobalIndian
Well this is a strange topic! Do you expect your kids will support you or care or you in old age? And what if they grow up to be fully westernized and say "sorry dad, ain't got no time" or we need privacy in our own home, but we can help find a good nursing home for you! India was good enough for you to learn and make big plans to serve the gora masters in West. Why do you think your sons (or daughters, are they allowed such leeway?) couldn't make such decisions in their time? Bottomline is: I came here hoping to provide best that west has to offer to my GRANDKIDS.
However, most of my efforts in the US, and now here yielded only short-term (a few months) or worse weekend affairs of love! I guess I have to postpone the grandkids for a very long time to come.
I like the phrase - weekend/evening love affair. I am sure that would be the case. Already, parents are moving to the basements and living their own lives seperately here, while, if they were in India would've been in the same house the way we lived with our grandparents. Even immigranted sons and daughter-in-laws are not happy living with their in-laws here on the same floor. Seen it with many families here.
I know it's not the rosy picture I am presenting, but we need to confront what's going on all around us. Especially, when we all moved because of 'the kids'. Their future is secure, but what about yours? Their happiness is assured, but what about your own? Life well wasted?
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Originally posted by GlobalIndian
I guess I have to postpone the grandkids
How do you do that? I mean, you can postpone the kids. But, grand-kids?
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Originally posted by febpreet
Quote:
Originally posted by GlobalIndian
I guess I have to postpone the grandkids
How do you do that? I mean, you can postpone the kids. But, grand-kids?
lol, postponing your own kids will by default postpone their kids ... ;-)
