Article on suggested abortion for gender selection
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Quote:
Orginally posted by morning_rain
LOL... thats why I prefer self arranged aka love marriages
So u think self arranged aka love marriages are stable? Look at the divorce rate in North America. They fall in love/date/have fun for years, get married, and boom, bitter seperation/divorce battles.
No system is perfect. It's all individual attitude.
DIO
Posts: 1920
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 13-01-06 11:50:17
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 13-01-06 11:50:17
Quote:
Orginally posted by desi in ottawa
Quote:
Orginally posted by morning_rain
LOL... thats why I prefer self arranged aka love marriages
So u think self arranged aka love marriages are stable? Look at the divorce rate in North America. They fall in love/date/have fun for years, get married, and boom, bitter seperation/divorce battles.
No system is perfect. It's all individual attitude.
DIO
No, I was responding to Rohit69 regarding his comment that girls families have to pursue 'boys ' families for rishtas..and that the guys families assume they have a 'one up'. One can avoid this if people select their own partners (In many cases..not all).
I dont think love marriages are any more/less stable than arranged or 'introduced' marriages. I think that if people get married for the wrong reason (ie/ rebound..money..status..desperation..etc) or are not committed fully to their partner. or communication problems become irreversible.then the relationship can disintegrate. I dont know the reasons why divorce happens..but there are complicated reasons..its not just because it was a love marriage. Im very interested in this topic actually... (marriage and family) am planning to do masters in a related field(someday soon i hope )
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~ Morning rain
Quote:
I dont think love marriages are any more/less stable than arranged or 'introduced' marriages.
I agree. Also, in the East, marriage is a huge responsibility. EVen these arranged or "introduced" marriages sometimes just force people to stay together for fear of upsetting the elders in their families or bringing shame to their family name, etc. And let's not forget... some marriages are only of convenience! If this were to stop suddenly, then the divorce rate would be just as high as "love" marriage.
Posts: 1920
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 16-01-06 08:00:45
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 16-01-06 08:00:45
Quote:
Orginally posted by MadammeX
Quote:
I dont think love marriages are any more/less stable than arranged or 'introduced' marriages.
I agree. Also, in the East, marriage is a huge responsibility. EVen these arranged or "introduced" marriages sometimes just force people to stay together for fear of upsetting the elders in their families or bringing shame to their family name, etc. And let's not forget... some marriages are only of convenience! If this were to stop suddenly, then the divorce rate would be just as high as "love" marriage.
Good point. I think in the West people may feel the freedom to get out bad relationships (whether incompatibility or abusiveness etc0
not saying that in India etc people dont divorce its just not as socially acceptable as you stated.
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~ Morning rain
Maybe you r right...but I notice that the patience to carry on a marriage is lesser in the west...their desire for a change overtakes their desire to sustain...I guess the reason is that everyone lives for themselves and he or she wants the best out of life on a daily basis...anything monotonous or routine makes them seeks a change...but this is not really true at work places...at work they dont mind the same rig marole and inside the box scenario
Quote:
Orginally posted by Rohit69
Maybe you r right...but I notice that the patience to carry on a marriage is lesser in the west...their desire for a change overtakes their desire to sustain...I guess the reason is that everyone lives for themselves and he or she wants the best out of life on a daily basis...anything monotonous or routine makes them seeks a change...but this is not really true at work places...at work they dont mind the same rig marole and inside the box scenario
You're right.. I've observed that as well.
I guess because with work, you get money and to some that's obviously more important than let's say... a relationship. Cuz just a relationship doesn't pay the bill or buys shiny things. (Just look at these "Who wants to marry a millionaire" type shows!)
And people know that they have to suck it up and put up with all kinds of crap @ work no matter what. They don't have much control over their work lives. But they don't want the same scenario at home. Everything out of control might be too much to handle?
Posts: 1920
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 17-01-06 11:33:42
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 17-01-06 11:33:42
Quote:
Orginally posted by MadammeX
You're right.. I've observed that as well.
I guess because with work, you get money and to some that's obviously more important than let's say... a relationship. Cuz just a relationship doesn't pay the bill or buys shiny things. (Just look at these "Who wants to marry a millionaire" type shows!)
And people know that they have to suck it up and put up with all kinds of crap @ work no matter what. They don't have much control over their work lives. But they don't want the same scenario at home. Everything out of control might be too much to handle?
Would you feel thats necessarily a bad thing? (this question is to all, not just you MadammeX
I mean if you have to put up with a unsatisfying job to pay the bills, someone could argue.why put up with a marriage thats bad?im just arguing rhetoric.. I think everyone's personal beliefs will dictate their actions. I agree with you that peoples' priorities may be more 'money' or material rather than relations. Its sort of speaks volumes about our society doesnt it?
Is it going the same way in India? (Metro areas I mean) ??
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~ Morning rain
