Posted on: 28-10-05 16:29:37
Taking of Spinoff from the previous thread
Quote:[\quote]
on the serious note I would like to summarise with ...
When we were using our hearts more than our brains, even for scientifically brainy activities like 'thinking' and 'deciding'...
When we were crying and laughing more often, more openly and more sincerely...
When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak ...
Wondering if this is something that is ingrained or taught to Indian males or is it a universal phenomenon.
As a kid, I was always taught to be respectful to elders. But it came at a cost of killing my feelings. I was always taught to be aware of other people feelings. But I did not know that I always kept on ignoring my feelings.
As a kid, I was always asked to sacrifice my feelings as a mark of respect to elders. The previous generation was taught in same way, and they taught same thing to their children. Always make sacrifices. Never speak up. Always follow the rat-race.
If you try to exihibit your feelings, you were considered a "weakling". A real man hides his feelings, and keeps a macho face against all difficulties. As a result, you are afraid to admit your mistakes, and as a pretense of keeping a brave face, live your life repenting for your mistakes, but never admitting it. You are always afraid - "log kya kahenge"? "Samaj Kya kahega"?
Our parents knew that it was wrong thing to do. Yet, they did not prevent us from falling into that same trap. Instead, they encouraged us to follow the same path they tread.
You always sacrifice. First you sacrifice for your parents, then you sacrifice for your family? So when do you live life for your own? As one character in The Simpsons say "You become human doing, not a human being".
Perhaps the younger generation (current teenagers of Indian origin living in Canada) are more outspoken and more expressive of their feelings..
Am I the only one that has passed through this phase? Would like to know viewpoints of other members - especially other men. I am not sure, if I am able to explain the entire thought process. But the inability of a male to express his feelings costs him a big time.
A woman can cry and express his feelings much better. As a result, she tend to garner more sympathy. If a man tries to get sympathy, he is branded "sissy".
We saw the "feminist" movement. It is time there should be a "masculinist" movement.
A man is supposed to think by his head and not by heart. But as Daniel Goleman puts in his book "Emotional Intelligence", the approach should be to keep a balance or harmony between brain and heart.
Meghal
Nice observation meghal.
But I believe there should have been a more important reason for males never being able to express their feelings or cry in public beyond the Samaj kya kaheja..samaj kya sochega..syndrome. One reason I feel was that men were (in the good old days) looked upon for physical and emotional stability of thier families and obviously you can imagine the emotional stress on other family members if thier men break down in public... As women started taking more responsibilites for the family and exploring the world outside the homes, this behaviour is starting to change slowly. I am referring to only the emotional outburst or the crying aspect for men here.
We always had male leads crying on the screen though...doesnt matter if they used glycerin to cry, they made you cry too... (either for the emotions or for losing your money...)
More from other desis.
