Jake3D,
Thanks for your thoughts. I really appreciate them. It is hard sometimes to judge how another person can comfortably read the sentences in a poem, I mean, the length of a sentance can affect the way the poem flows, so I will bear that in mind next time.
I have to say I am really excited about this posting! I love to read, and writing really helps me to clear my head when there are lot of jumbled up emotions going on...I think writing your feelings down can help you gain a better perspective of what's buggin you, kind of like a bird's eye view, thus giving you a better understanding and a way perhaps to solve a particular problem.
That part about the mask, I really like that bit too, and I think people can relate to that part because to some extent I think we all wear a mask.
I hope this has inspired others to put their creative caps on and write...it would be great to read other peices.
Jake, perhaps with your wifey's permission, you could post some of her work?
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Are you working hard, or hardly working?
Quote:
Orginally posted by Brown Girl
Jake, perhaps with your wifey's permission, you could post some of her work?
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Brown Girl,
Not only a good initiative, but a great start too!
I have always felt that poetry is something to be felt - not a creation to be analyzed by anyone, not even the writer herself. It is 'wordification' (is there any such silly word) of one's inner feelings at a particular moment of time, which could be either a result of a long drawn situation, or simply an instant thought.
Moreover, more often than not, the reader/writer might find differences in the intention and the understanding. And so I would not dare to analyse any such literary creation. However, I can only comment that it was nice reading it, and I might look at it more than once in my life.
However, one thing I have never been able to understand - why is it that the origin of poetry for any individual is from sorrow - experienced first hand or second hand? Why doesn't one start writing poetry on achieveing something which really made him/her extremely happy?
I do not know whether this is called poetry or what, but long long ago, I had come across something which I could never forget. It is in Hindi and goes like this:
Badhe huey haath ka
Simat jaana hi behtar hota hai
jab samne wale ka nituttar sa vyavhar
ek mon jhatka sa dene lage
Chandresh
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Chandresh
Advice is free – lessons I charge for!!
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
jab samne wale ka nituttar sa vyavhar
ek mon jhatka sa dene lage
Chandresh
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Try overtaking child's imagination
wonderful...
Arz hai..
Le aayi fir kahan se, kismat hamen kahan pe,
Yeh to vohi jagah hai, guzare the hum jahan se...
i mean yeh to vohi log hai guzare the hum vahan se..
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kathiawadi
I read an article about this "Husband or Dog" thing a long time ago and wrote this poem
Here is another one
God and I
I say, "I can reach out and touch the face of God"
"How is that possible?", They ask
"The God lives in the skies above",
"You are not capable of such an impossible task"
"How do You know?", I ask, "Have You ever seen God?"
"No", They reply, "but we heard our fathers talk"
"That when life ends and death takes us"
"In his garden forever our spirits shall walk"
They say, "This our fathers did teach us"
"that if we simply say our prayers and praise his name"
"then when it is time to cross over to the life beyond"
" our life force shall remerge with the eternal flame"
I laugh at them, these ignorant "literates"
and wonder, if they are blind?
and wonder at the education that makes them forget
The true purpose of Mankind
I say "You pray for hours"
"While I for a minute not"
"Yet more than any of you"
"I am much nearer to God"
"It is not because I am his favorite"
"or because he loves you any less"
" t'is because more than prayers"
" it is kindness that God does bless"
"I shelter the needy from sun and rain"
"when I see a hungry mouth, I feed it"
"without giving too much thought to self"
"I give help to those who need it"
I say, "I can reach out and touch the face of God"
"it is not because I can see him"
"it is because I know he is around us"
"among us and within"
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Nice one DT. Its well written. A critique again . This time from the story telling aspect of it.
I feel the below paras do not belong to someone who has seen GOD due to the fact that it reflects ego of the person and thus out of character. That may have been what you are trying to convey though.
I laugh at them, these ignorant "literates"
and wonder, if they are blind?
and wonder at the education that makes them forget
The true purpose of Mankind
I say "You pray for hours"
"While I for a minute not"
"Yet more than any of you"
"I am much nearer to God"
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