Posted on: 17-02-05 02:45:41
India s culture is different from Canada. Though the scenario is fast changing but still the customs and traditions are different as a norm . We are still built upon values like family life , respect for elders which become a part of our persona and mark our premises with in which our life works out .
West is different and u can experience the change immediately as u land . Initially for some it comes as a culture shock then subjectively one finds it easy/ difficult to adapt . Value system is different .A child is more independent and alienates himself from the family sooner as compared to India . One finds dating and multiple relationships both pre and extra marital more common . Family values are relatively feeble. As Indians we are more into family outings and getting together rather than chilling out at pubs .Instead of Diwali and Holi you have more of Halloween and Christmas .
In essence the value system changes . What you thought as wrong is not so wrong and half heartedly u have to accept it more when your children grow up . Things which were taboo back in India are common in Canada . So the gap b/w parents and children widens twofold - to generation plus regional .
Q is --- Is this cultural variance and different value systems hard to accept and a big cost that one pays upon migrating ? Do people adapt to this transition from Indians to Canadians willingly ?
Do we get the sense of belonging or feel as aliens?
Manasvi .
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Orginally posted by Manasvi
India s culture is different from Canada. Though the scenario is fast changing but still the customs and traditions are different as a norm . We are still built upon values like family life , respect for elders which become a part of our persona and mark our premises with in which our life works out .
West is different and u can experience the change immediately as u land . Initially for some it comes as a culture shock then subjectively one finds it easy/ difficult to adapt . Value system is different .A child is more independent and alienates himself from the family sooner as compared to India . One finds dating and multiple relationships both pre and extra marital more common . Family values are relatively feeble. As Indians we are more into family outings and getting together rather than chilling out at pubs .Instead of Diwali and Holi you have more of Halloween and Christmas .
In essence the value system changes . What you thought as wrong is not so wrong and half heartedly u have to accept it more when your children grow up . Things which were taboo back in India are common in Canada . So the gap b/w parents and children widens twofold - to generation plus regional .
Q is --- Is this cultural variance and different value systems hard to accept and a big cost that one pays upon migrating ? Do people adapt to this transition from Indians to Canadians willingly ?
Do we get the sense of belonging or feel as aliens?
Manasvi .
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
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Quote:
Orginally posted by Manasvi
India s culture is different from Canada. Though the scenario is fast changing but still the customs and traditions are different as a norm . We are still built upon values like family life , respect for elders which become a part of our persona and mark our premises with in which our life works out .
West is different and u can experience the change immediately as u land . Initially for some it comes as a culture shock then subjectively one finds it easy/ difficult to adapt . Value system is different .A child is more independent and alienates himself from the family sooner as compared to India . One finds dating and multiple relationships both pre and extra marital more common . Family values are relatively feeble. As Indians we are more into family outings and getting together rather than chilling out at pubs .Instead of Diwali and Holi you have more of Halloween and Christmas .
In essence the value system changes . What you thought as wrong is not so wrong and half heartedly u have to accept it more when your children grow up . Things which were taboo back in India are common in Canada . So the gap b/w parents and children widens twofold - to generation plus regional .
Q is --- Is this cultural variance and different value systems hard to accept and a big cost that one pays upon migrating ? Do people adapt to this transition from Indians to Canadians willingly ?
Do we get the sense of belonging or feel as aliens?
Manasvi .
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
But not to the extent it hurts your conscience.
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This sort of a perception (of unbridgeable cultural differences) would be based on stereotypes of both the Indian and western cultures.
Ironically, enough I have an article from the Indian Express version on my PDA this morning about marriages in India. Unfortunately, I have not been able to find this column on the online version of the Indian Express itself, therefore could not post a link. Rather I have copied and pasted the column I received:
Apparently, you can get a healthy dose of ‘western culture’ in India itself!
The column is titled “More young marriages on the rocks” and the author is “Aparna Chandra” – it’s a good read:
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Aparna Chandra Posted online: Wednesday, February 16, 2005 at 0403 hours IST Updated: Wednesday, February 16, 2005 at 1403 hours IST Mumbai, February 16:
Till death do us apart, saat janamo ka saath... Nice, but pause there a while for it doesn’t seem like they are waiting that long anymore. Blame it on everything that comes with modern life, but a lot more new marriages are breaking up than before. As matrimonial listings increasingly feature young divorcees, it’s a wonder that a culture that has forever boasted of its ability of keeping families together, of respecting and preserving the sanctity and finality of marriages, appears to be changing its mind.
For instance, “The fear of what society will say is on the wane,” says Nandini Dange who runs Harmony, a matrimonial bureau. “With women today financially independent and capable of living on their own, even parents aren’t hesitant to advise their daughters uncomfortable in a marriage to come out of it,” she adds. While Information Technology may have changed our perspective to life, it hasn’t done too well on the home front. Says Dange, “Many young divorcees are from the software field. High job demands, frequent late nights at work, no time to spend with the spouse, there’s eventually little life lived within the marriage, for these professionals who call itquits soon enough.”- In a month, the bureau sees about seven to eight young divorcees register with it. That’s a 30 per cent jump in two years.
The same statistic applies to those who visit Dr Rajendra Sathe’s Maritosexual and Reproductive Research Institute with a dithering marriage . “Issues have always existed within marriages, however, the stigma of divorce is dying out and it’s no longer an unconceivable or the last option. Tolerance levels have loweredespecially with women who have become more assertive. Then again elders are not able to prevail their mindsets on the younger generation either.” In a larger context of things professor of Women’s Studies at the University of Pune, Vidyut Bhagwat sees the situation as a result of the politico-economic instability that surrounds us, post the 90s.
“Everywhere you see, there is competition, a sense of oneupmanship and insecurity. Safeguarding one’s health, career, money-making alternatives,survival with dignity have become challenges. Even the choice of a marriage partner is streamlined to someone from the same caste, class, career just to make things easy. Where is the time, space or priority to nurture a relationship or build comradeship?” she avers. With individual interests having becomes greater, men and women are more likely to ask why pay the price of dragging a bad marriage and, certainly, why wait until the children come? Answers to this change can only come from within society. Bhagwatoffers, “Something is going wrong somewhere with the way society is shaping up right now and the younger generation is paying the price. For one the institution of a family will have to be restructured as will that of a marriage.
As for the Indian culture, that holds marriages as unbreakable, it is a myth that lies broken.”
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Quote:
Orginally posted by Manasvi
Q is --- Is this cultural variance and different value systems hard to accept and a big cost that one pays upon migrating ? Do people adapt to this transition from Indians to Canadians willingly ?
Do we get the sense of belonging or feel as aliens?
Manasvi .
More hard for older folks adapt.
Infact, I will from personal experience say they dont seem to understand it.
i.e. that they need to change.
And i am not talking about dating stuff....
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I once made a mistake, but I was wrong about it.
I tried to get the link in IE. Looks like the entire article been removed. I read it yesterday on IE.
Anyways, cultural difference is one of the price u pay when migrating from India to a western country. I have seen many marriages of children who grew up here has gone down the drain. Worst when they bring the boy from India. Lot of parents have hypocritical attitude. They want all the western goodies, but want their children to obey them especially during marriage. This is what scares me.
There are exceptions. I know some desis in Ottawa who behave as if they are born here, basically "wannabe whites". For these nothing matters. They have achieved their goal coming out of India and settling down in Canada. But wait, they want only desi friends, desi babysitters, and desi events. They are sh*t scared to mingle with whites except working at the office. But are ready to diss India any time.
My 2 cents before lunch.
DIO
Manasvi
I do not think your views of "Western" culture are entirely accurate. Well yes, to a certain extent what you say is true. The culture is decadent in certain ways, but the impression we have about the importance these people attach to family values and such other things is not correct.
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Orginally posted by Manasvi
Value system is different .A child is more independent and alienates himself from the family sooner as compared to India .
Only because the children move out of their parents' home and live independently, it is wrong to conclude that they do not have what we consider "family values". The very concept of "values", is in fact more a product of the quality of upbringing a person gets, than an outcome of a particular culture. It is wrong if we Indians think that people here love their parents any less than we do. This I say from personal experience. In fact, quite often I have found their display of affection towards their parents to be far more than ours. It is not unusual to find people who call up their dad/mom Every. Single. Day. Visiting parents over the weekends, and getting together on a regular basis is very very common here. There is absolutely no "alienation" as you seem to think.
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Orginally posted by Manasvi
One finds dating and multiple relationships both pre and extra marital more common .
I agree with the first part of the statement which is true and is definitely a "culture". Pre-marital sex is an accepted fact. Virginitybeyond 18 is rare.
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Orginally posted by Manasvi
Family values are relatively feeble.
I am afraid that is again a grossly mistaken impression. Families are very close knit and care a lot for each other. Parents are NOT left high and dry when they become old, and nor do the parents stop doing whatever possible even after the child leaves home.
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Orginally posted by Manasvi
So the gap b/w parents and children widens twofold - to generation plus regional .
Not true. It all depends on what values have been taught to the child as he/she grew up.
It will be wrong to paint an entire society with the same brush, only because of some freaks. It is not as bad as you seem to think. The educated and privileged class have just as good a system of values as we do. I have found almost all of them to be very decent, friendly, sociable and courteous.
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Diogenes
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The Cynic
