Quote:
Orginally posted by jago_desi
I was wondering,once same sex marriage legal issue is streamlined then these couple will desire to have children as a normal house. Is adoption going to be legalised for same sex couples. If yes, what will be the child psychology?
Is it better for the child to be loved and adopted or live in an orphanage or be shuttled from foster home to foster home? Lack of love and nurturing environment is probably more damaging to a childs psychology than having someone to love them.
I'm guessing that kids who are loved will be ok and probably have more opportunities than those who have no parents.
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Quote:
Orginally posted by jake3d
Is it better for the child to be loved and adopted or live in an orphanage or be shuttled from foster home to foster home? Lack of love and nurturing environment is probably more damaging to a childs psychology than having someone to love them.
I'm guessing that kids who are loved will be ok and probably have more opportunities than those who have no parents.
You are saying from the perspective of an orphan child. Once the child is adopted (s)he is no more an orphan. Child will think similar to a child staying with biological parents. This child is going to compare his own life with other children. How is that child going to introduce same sex parents when called for report reading, community gathering etc. It is difficult for a child to understand situation the way you or I would analyse. Now big Q arise, this complicated condition is better or the orphanage.
I can accept same sex marriage but can not live it. Here we are expecting innocent child to live what we can not do.
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Try overtaking child's imagination
Posts: 1754
Location: Ottawa (Now in Bangalore)
Posted on: 24-12-04 00:58:35
Location: Ottawa (Now in Bangalore)
Posted on: 24-12-04 00:58:35
Quote:
Orginally posted by jago_desi
Quote:
Orginally posted by jake3d
Is it better for the child to be loved and adopted or live in an orphanage or be shuttled from foster home to foster home? Lack of love and nurturing environment is probably more damaging to a childs psychology than having someone to love them.
I'm guessing that kids who are loved will be ok and probably have more opportunities than those who have no parents.
You are saying from the perspective of an orphan child. Once the child is adopted (s)he is no more an orphan. Child will think similar to a child staying with biological parents. This child is going to compare his own life with other children. How is that child going to introduce same sex parents when called for report reading, community gathering etc. It is difficult for a child to understand situation the way you or I would analyse. Now big Q arise, this complicated condition is better or the orphanage.
I can accept same sex marriage but can not live it. Here we are expecting innocent child to live what we can not do.
Again Jago Desi.. you are trying to analyze the situation from your perspective..and you may be right (partially). How do we introduce our "parents" to society ? Well remember, once upon a time society considered homo-sexuals as deviants and a sinners and what not....that was the late 70's early 80's..Today's society has become more permissive. If two men are kissing or making love... society should and will have to accept it..Maybe not in our generation..but in our kids generation they will. I suppose at that time, your question will become moot.
May those religious quacks, who oppose this with thier deviant religious beliefs, rot in the most disgusting places.
A complicated situation can be solved, by understanding and educating..An orphanage leads to hardships (physical, emotional, financial)..Living with gay/lesbian parents gives the "orphan" two loving parents...His/her emotional needs and finiancial needs are solved. There are ppl to take care of him/her at all times... Isnt this what parenthood is all abt ? Afterall "log kya kahenge" should not be a matter of concern, as those very same log do not care for the child when he/she is in the orphanage and they have the temerity to oppose adoption by homosexual couples !!
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Quote:Again you are missing my point. I am trying to think from the child perspective. You can not educate a 6 -8 years old kid that same sex parents is cool stuff for society.
Orginally posted by Ottawa_Nerd
Again Jago Desi.. you are trying to analyze the situation from your perspective..and you may be right (partially).
I am with the idea of legalizing same sex marriage but adoption should be given a great amount of thought.
What are the pros and cons from up bringing of a child in institution that is not so cool. I have never met any same sex couple in parties, usualy they are hanging out at a common clup where couple like them visit. Although people like us may be more than happy to invite them to our house because we are educated that it is a genetical structure modification which leads to the desire of staying with same sex. But a kid of 6 -8 years can understand that??
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Try overtaking child's imagination
Quote:
Orginally posted by jago_desi
What are the pros and cons from up bringing of a child in institution that is not so cool. I have never met any same sex couple in parties, usualy they are hanging out at a common clup where couple like them visit. Although people like us may be more than happy to invite them to our house because we are educated that it is a genetical structure modification which leads to the desire of staying with same sex. But a kid of 6 -8 years can understand that??
Remember that even in western countries mixed race marriages were not 'Cool' once upon a time. Infact it was not 'cool' for visible minorities to be given equal status or even sit on the same table with europeans. That did not make an injustice right.
Yes the first generation will face hiccups while they wait for society to catch up and accept the change. Change is never easy. e.g:The abolishment of slavery did not stop black lynchings or blatant racism. Education of a generation or two plays an important part in moulding mindsets. The canadian law accords you equal rights inspite of your genetic code, that took some time for many to accept(none of us will disagree that there are still racists who disapprove of the change). That it was not 'cool' did not stop coloreds from migrating here...now we have one of the largest milticultural societies in the world.This did not happen overnight. There were many 6-8 yrs olds who went to school and faced racist taunts. Their parents had to deal with how to explain the injustice. Now canadian kids(atleast the majority) are educated enough to know how unjust such behaviour is. Atleast the behaviour is unlawfull and not condoned anymore.
Similarly, education will play a big part in how the next generations cope with the coming changes w.r.t gay rights and family structure.
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Quote:
Orginally posted by jago_desi
You are saying from the perspective of an orphan child.
Yes. That is what really matters. A child is more important than societys norms. Sometimes it takes a child to teach society.
Quote:
Once the child is adopted (s)he is no more an orphan. I can accept same sex marriage but can not live it. Here we are expecting innocent child to live what we can not do.
Did the initial migrants from India not face similar issues? I would say that the sikhs who landed here faced bigger issues because of the sheer obviousness of the differences between themselves and the european migrants.Imagine what those kids with their pagaris had to face in school everyday?. Its due to their perseverance that you and I are here today. They are the ones who changed Canadian society for the better. They made the Canadian society debate. They made canadian society figure out that the 'normal' thinking of that time was UNJUST. Similarly, our generation and now 'multi-cultural' society is being tested too. Can we change? Can you? Ultimately, our childrens abilty to accept these changes will depend on us. Ironic...isnt it?
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Children are not born with prejudices about what's \"normal\" and what's not. They develop them through societal exposure, and to a large extent imbibe their peers/parents prejudices. So there's no question of teaching a 6 yr old that same-sex marriages are \"cool\".
Granted there will be challenges when they go to school with two mommies or two daddies - but Western society has evolved to a point where this can be a non-issue. Why should we be stuck in our old ways?
