That is what I meant by Love / Love situation where you love what you have here and you love what you left. But it is the fact that the one you missed fifteen years back doesn't exist. Not at all..
So no point of chasing that.
The most important thing I see is my kids are building their memories here, the memories we built have already moved on and not realistic any more.
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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM
This happens to us even within India, when we move from our village/small town/state to a metro in a different part of the country. Over a period of time we lose contact. The sleepy village would have become a bustling town after a few decades.
India is getting more and more difficult for those who want to be honest. May be we should imagine that we are in the Botanical Gardens of Ooty and only look at good things in life. Until the Gardener comes and ask us to leave.
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I love such subjective debates😊 - there are no rights or wrongs - there are only viewpoints.
If someone is more aware of local politics and Hollywood and local soaps and Bieber - does that make that person more Canadian?
I believe being truly Canadian is learning the inherent qualities that people here display - tolerance, patience, acceptance, being non-judgemental (all these to a large extent - there will always be exceptions, off course).
Eg. If someone is driving slow, people overtake at the earliest opportunity without troubling that driver. We would tend to holler and honk.
Eg. Their views and acceptance of LGBT Rights or the fact that Canadians don't wish Merry X'mas (happy holidays instead).
Eg. The jury deliberated for more than 6days to sentence Luka Magnotta - which was like an open and shut case.
Why must we display intolerance or impatience towards our own people? Why are we so judgemental? People here give you time to come to terms with the change. They also understand that it is the next generation which will be truly Canadian. Our children will feel for Canada - what we feel for India. They will be the Russell Peters.
Why should we impose ourselves on people - to make more memories? That's a personal decision. And if they prefer living in the past - is also their own choice. To let them be - would be Canadian. Were this topic about people who speak and oppose against Canadian systems and ways - then it would be different. Loving India or following all things Indian - is not something that deserves censure.
These are the people who pay a very heavy price and deserve our complete sympathy and understanding. They trade off all their own happiness and longing - in securing a better future for their kids. They leave their hearts and souls behind - with their relatives and friends and family. These are the people for whom money can't buy happiness.
How many of us can boast of friends/ family/ relatives/ social circle of the quality you have experienced in India? Ask yourself - what is that feeling you get when you go to India and meet your friends and family? That rush of emotion? The smells and sounds. Can we get that here? Some things are natural - we must not fight against that.
I have made friends with my neighbours here - but people here tend to be private and aloof and formal. That "ek cup chini or dahi" thing can never be had. The people and the setting has changed - so has the experience.
I lived for many years in Singapore. There one can see a very strong expat community. They send their kids to international schools from their own country. They recreate their own little countries replicating their own culture and cuisine. They talk very fondly of back home and they also keep very close contact with their own country - especially the politics. Their discussions are also very country specific when they are together. The women follow fashion from their home country and also usually buy from stores as such - eg. A large clientele for Marks and Spencer comprised British women. We can go on and on - but I am sure you get the gist.
These are matters of the heart - and a sum of a persons experiences - we can't dictate terms to people. If their own experience in the past is better - that is what they will remember and want.
It's like giving a choice between cricket and hockey. It's a lifelong passion and habit. Masala chai v/s coffee.
In my opinion, it is this loyalty and these deep rooted attachments - which we call culture. This same feeling is extended to standing by our family and friends - no matter what. They define us.
Excellent comments geetakhanna; great depth and educative too.
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Many
Personally I think it is not healthy to have a one way love affair with India and forget to embrace the country you live in, what I see some of us doing who are not happy here.
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 27-12-14 08:45:00
Just to ad my 2 cents :
People who donot get a good job here are the ones who mostly think of back home.
When I was in Canada, i had a good network of Desi friends (from church). Most were in IT but some were just B.sc but with good jobs.
The moment you buy a house , 2 cars and have both partners working in good jobs, you tend to settle your mind to Canada. But it is very hard to take India out of them. I suspect that they still will want to go back to India once their work days are over.
On the other hand, I need not tell you anything about people who are in dead beat jobs , labour jobs. They always think of their home country and would say that they will go back if they had a choice.
Murali The Krishna
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Instead of getting deluded by wrapping ourselves in flags, let us follow where our hearts and minds take us. Remember, most of us are in Canada for economic/professional reasons. Yeah, the place grows on you eventually. But, we don't have to drink cranberry juice and watch hockey to get certified as Canadians. Happy holidays!
