Aging parents... Providing emotional support from remote.
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Location: God's own country
Posted on: 06-04-12 13:12:16
I guess very few people know that the prime reason that I left Canada was to be close to my parents, which I am !
Peace
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
A short story for understanding the concept we are discussing here :
There was this son who kept his old father in a room with a plate for food, a glass for water and a bell to ring whenever he wanted help.
This went on for a long time and one day the father died.
The son after cremation went home and with the help of his son started cleaning his fathers room.
After cleaning up he took the plate, glass and bell and wanted to throw it away.
His son came up running and said do not throw it, we will save as you might need it when you grow old.
Moral of the story " what goes around, comes around " .
KARMA !.
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Sunny Leone a true Canadian DESI now back in India !.
TK no worries, it is well known how much you loved being in Canada and packed the bags for a cause. Nice to know..
My wife and kid team up to curse Lions and Tigers when they watch the Discovery channel and curse to wipe out the big cats, but you know it is a natural phenomenon, likewise immigration is a natural phenomenon for ages and ages, sorting out the complexities is the trait of the education and is what we do, not to use this write some absurd stories and make fun of self....
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
I guess very few people know that the prime reason that I left Canada was to be close to my parents, which I am !
Peace
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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM
Quote:
Originally posted by JRF
All this could be arranged but the emotional part is what goes dangling.....
How bad it would hurt to take a 10 years break from Canada. I know predictions do not hold good for more than couple of years.... but thinking doesn't stop.
I am in touch with few very elderly parents who (have done pretty good jobs in life) but now all they want seem to be the family environment, and these are the very same people time to time push me to re-evaluate my stand on continuing in foreign land.
Every week, we find some of our known folks are dumping US and leave to Canada after acquiring OCI, but it is uncommon in Canada, at least in my social circle here....thso..thso...
JRF ,
You live only once and you live with the choice you make .
If you feel being with your parents can fill the emotional void , please do not hesitate in making the choice ... If this is the most important thing you feel you should do at this time - go ahead and do it .... you might lose on certain other aspects like career advancement but would be satisfied that you heard your heart .
I have a friend from my home town , a senior Chartered Accountant who preferred to stay back in the home town to be close to his parents ....And he is happy I tell you - they all live together ... He may not have what he could have had in Metros but at least he set his priorities right ...
Like wise if you could take a middle route - try going to a metro and call your parents over , it might not make you lose your career progress and I am confident that India in IT - 10 years hence , your growth there would be more than here .
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Fido.
Taking care of parents is utterly emotional issue and different people react differently to emotional situations.
I have few of stories...I came across in life, stories of sacrifices per force people make as kids or parents to move on in life..
I was in switzerland on work permit where I joined a chess club and came across two guys, good friends, having typical stories, both refugees, one from bangladesh, a political refugee who for 11 years could not go back home mainly because of visa/passport reasons. After 11 years he got the swiss citizenship, the day he got it he told me his story that now there was no meaning for him because he lost his parents in these years. His parents may have missed him lesser because he had 6 other siblings back home a big family but he was miserable all this time. So both sides suffer.
The second friend was a mangolian who came with family, 2 daughters below the age of 10 to swiss illegally but was under constant fear of being deported. He made a difficult choice to allow his both daughters adopted to an elderly couple so that their future is secured. I met him a day before he was getting deported leaving behind his daughters, with no chance of them coming back. His wife was even more miserable. Sometimes parents make choices which are difficult but they know in the long run it is good for kids.
Another of my friend in IT lived in US for 5 years and went back to India to take care of ailing father. His father is no more but he is staying back.
I am not sure what learnings to take from these stories but such a dilemma is part and parcel of life of migrants.
One thing I am glad and proud about is that we desis are discussing this topic with lot of vigor, and willing to take care of parents whereas in some communities kids just do not care and parents want their space!
I know the journey is very long but before you decide to relocate back to India, try to visit India twice a year to be with parents. Also request other siblings to do the same. I feel that may be a good way to check on them, build their confidence and show support too. It may not be practical to take the trip always but may have a desired effect even if you are visiting for one week.
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smile ...
Adjusted the title a bit, as there is no shortage of sources to provide necessary logistics and material support to our seniors.
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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM
