After much deliberation, introspection, I have decided to say goodbye to my fellow desis at \\\"Charcha\\\". I started participating in the discussions here, out of an urge to share my feelings, experience, and opinions. I have received personal messages, where CD's said that they have felt encouraged by my posts. One person even said that he felt a new urge to stay positive after reading my posts.

That was only half the story. While a large number of fellow desis have felt positive about my participation, there are others who have taken it upon themselves to abuse me, to get personal, and suggest that I wasn't a good person, after all. As much as they suggested that I was anti India, bereft of any love for the country I was born in, I was doing no disservice.

As someone who has worked with the media in India and here, for a considerably long time , I thought I would share some of my thoughts. Unfortunately, some of my fellow desis made it a point to hijack EVERY thread, and fly it down the INDIA VS CANADA corridor. Anything I wrote about the issues facing India was taken as \\\"ANTI INDIA\\\". As much as I hate to say this, these people have double standards but spare no effort to throw brickbats at me. Then there were others who took things out of context, spreading lies, and casting aspersions on me as a participant.

I have come to the conclusion that beyond pain, anguish, and dejection, I achieve nothing here. I was terribly wrong to assume that I would be able to raise the awareness levels of fellow desis, and probably have a healthy exchange of views. When prejudice, bias, and dislike clouds logical thinking, it is time to read the warning signs, and sign off.

The fact is, I can not be blind to any ills in society I come across, be it here or in India. If someone tells me politely to shut up, because what I write is true, but unacceptable, it is a form of censorship, which I despise.

I have not had one post deleted by the moderators, because I follow the rules of decorum and decency. In fact I have been encouraged by many fellow desis and the moderators, and I would like to thank them for their support.

To those who consider me \\\"good riddance\\\", I would like to thank you too - you opened my eyes to your insensitivity, pseudo patriotism, and lack of understanding. You won (and I lost), because I can not make you see logic.

I have contributed to several liberal websites and blogs, and will continue to do that. I will not respond, or start a thread here at charcha. That should put to rest, many debatable topics. That should be good news to my detractors, and something to think about.

Adios Amigos!

We will miss your thought-provoking and intelligent posts. I have only read some of your recent post. I found them very interesting. Enjoy your life!

It is very easy to blame a country and its system, be it Canada or India. It is tough to take personal responsibility, very easy to shift blame to others. What is logical may not be logical to others. It depends on education and background they came from and how well they are settled in Canada. If you talk to mechanical engineer in India who is working in factory as a labour, they will say everything is wrong with Canada and its immigration policy. You will get a completely opposite view of Canada from those immigrants who are well settled now. It does not mean that you should try to change their views or you should give up your own.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Give free food http://www.thehungersite.com ||

Well if you are leaving just for the above mentioned reasons then I would say - reconsider or you are being overly sensitive .

I have been on this forum since 2003 ... and there have been members here before me esp Chandresh .... not that we have not had differing views with other members - we have had a lot .................. But we take it in our stride and continue on .... enjoying every bit of it & then leaving it at that ..... nothing more nothing less .

Heck - its a discussion forum -- people air their views and there are differences ..... thats not enough reason to take it personally .... I recall even I have had differing views with you on one of the threads but that does not mean that you or I should not be here .

From another perspective , if you are leaving because of others' views on you / your thoughts , then I m afraid you are letting them get the better of you .... Peace does not come from the absence of conflicts in life but with the ability to cope with them ...

Lastly - CD is more than a forum -- its an addiction .... its hard to say Goodbye .

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Fido.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by rajcanada

It is very easy to blame a country and its system, be it Canada or India. It is tough to take personal responsibility, very easy to shift blame to others. What is logical may not be logical to others. It depends on education and background they came from and how well they are settled in Canada. If you talk to mechanical engineer in India who is working in factory as a labour, they will say everything is wrong with Canada and its immigration policy. You will get a completely opposite view of Canada from those immigrants who are well settled now. It does not mean that you should try to change their views or you should give up your own.

---

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Fido.

As one of the poster mentioned, you will hear different views from people with respect to the disparity between their past life in India and here. When adversity strikes, it is common for some one to divert to ideologies such as extreme regionalism, cultural and religious. Exceptions are not common.

If your will is to fight the social ill, you should reconsider giving up. Personally, I liked some of your views and some not. In a forum open to public, you are bound to face all sorts of personalities, radical views, I think one should expect this and keep going ahead.

God, how difficult it could've been for the early reformists to fight against social atrocities like 'Sati'.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM

have you heard of 'NEKI KAR DARIYA ME DAAL' That should be the case if you helping other people on this forum.

don't take it to heart, continue doing good deeds and ignore all other comments. you know what good you do comes in ten fold alongwith interest to you and your children. Remember what Lord Krishna says " phal ki chinta mat karna, karma karte jana".

I have been in canada for past 7-8 months, but I have achieved so much. Today, people who have been here past 30-40 years are coming to me asking for help in job for their children. My husband is gone to India,(MIL serious and hospitalised) but everyday I receive calls from people asking whether I wish to go for groceries, whether they should get anything for me, whether I am alright in health. People are visiting me more than I could have dreamt of.

This is all because of this forum and also because there are still good people around in this world.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Mahatma Gandhi