I have just come back after spending 3 weeks in India with my family and attending my brother's marriage. It was a wonderful experience and myself, my wife and our lovely 1 year old daughter had lots of fun there. I love my wife and daughter more than anything in life. Unfortunately, my wife and daughter will stay back in India for a couple of months as our parents want to spend some time with their granddaughter and my wife can also relax a little bit as she was really busy taking care of our daughter. Since we have no relatives in Canada and very limited social circle, working full time, going to school ( I am doing my online degree in Social Work) and raising a baby can be challenging at times.

I hope I am not making a fool of myself by writing this post at 1230 in the night or maybe I am just feeling very lonely without my wife and baby as this is my first night without them, ever. Or maybe it is just jet lag. I would love it if those folks who spent time away from their families in Canada write on their experiences. I myself work in Mental Health and counsel my clients about how to beat depression but right now, all those grand theories seem useless.

I couldn't contribute much to CD as I was busy with school and raising our little daughter but there was a time when I felt safe and comfortable sharing my thoughts on this forum. I also had the opportunity to meet very nice people through this forum but couldn't keep in touch because of the lack of time. I wish I had them today then I would have had friends to talk to and not just my friends at office who are great people but don't understand our culture.

I am feeling a little better by just expressing myself through words. I have already talked to my wife twice on the phone after landing but having her and my baby daughter in person is just not the same.

I know I can search for this on Charcha but offhand, would someone know of a good monthly phone plan for callling India ( I live in Surrey, B.C.). Does Skype work for India, I plan to buy a web camera tomorrow.

I have never ever shared my most personal feelings like this in a post before but today I just feel different. Thank you for reading and I hope people who read my post will respect my feelings. These are the feelings of a person whose world is in India right now.

Dear Mungeri Lal,

We have all be in your position when our families leave to India for vacation. Yes, being a forced bachelor feels novel for a day or two. After couple of weeks the boredom and loneliness gets to you. Here are some below tips to deal with it and make the best out of it.

1) Foremost, remember: This is just a temporary phase. At some point, their vacation or trip will be over and will join you. Therefore enjoy this loneliness and use this time to discover yourself.

2) Pick up a new skill or hobby. I learnt hiking, golfing, swimming, fishing etc during this period. Try to get into shape by exercising and eating healthy food. I enjoyed experimenting in the kitchen without anyone ‘looking’ over my shoulder.

3) There are wonderful public libraries where you can pick up an engrossing novel or magazine. I would spend large amount of time in the library itself.

4) Take short trips to Museum (Royal Ontario museum) or sightseeing etc.

5) Last, but not the least, use this time to make more money or explore new business opportunities. You cannot do this with familial obligations.

6) Once again, please remember, this is just a temporary phase. Therefore enjoy this ‘loneliness’ and use this time to discovering you.

Cheers,

seenappa

Dear Seenappa

I can't thank you enough for such a thoughtful reply. The tips you have given are very valuable and thank you for taking the time to write them, it means a lot to me.

You are so right in saying that I must use this time to discover myself. I have always wanted to study Buddhism and I think this is the time to revisit that interest. Besides, when I get back to work on Monday and meet my colleagues, I will feel better.

The public library is another great place to visit and besides I will soon be submitting my assignments as I am in school.

The best part of your reply was thinking of this phase as temporary. I should put my faith in time and await the day when my wife and daughter come back.

Once again, Seenappa, people like you who can genuinely understand what is going on in the mind of a stranger and empathise are rare and I feel happy for your friends and family who have the opportunity to have you in their lives. God bless you and take care.

Hi Mungeri,

Seenappa has already given excellent suggestions. I also live in Vancouver and if you want I can call you and talk to you, as I think talking to people helps in such lonely situation. Please feel free to PM your phone number (if you want or think it will help) and I will call you. Do let me know on this forum that you have PM the phone number, as I typically don't check the PM.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Mungeri Lal

Dear Seenappa

I can't thank you enough for such a thoughtful reply. The tips you have given are very valuable and thank you for taking the time to write them, it means a lot to me.

You are so right in saying that I must use this time to discover myself. I have always wanted to study Buddhism and I think this is the time to revisit that interest. Besides, when I get back to work on Monday and meet my colleagues, I will feel better.

The public library is another great place to visit and besides I will soon be submitting my assignments as I am in school.

The best part of your reply was thinking of this phase as temporary. I should put my faith in time and await the day when my wife and daughter come back.

Once again, Seenappa, people like you who can genuinely understand what is going on in the mind of a stranger and empathise are rare and I feel happy for your friends and family who have the opportunity to have you in their lives. God bless you and take care.

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Hi Ash 20

I have sent you a PM with my phone number. Thank you for your reply. Looking forward to talk to you.