Location: Private location
Posted on: 03-01-08 09:56:55
Quote:
Originally posted by meetonline
I guess study in India on early Age is better for kids if you want them to learn your own culture.
My niece is old enough to recognize her parents and families. All we wanna do is send her thier till secondary education then if she wants will bring her back for further study in Canada or USA.
considering the fact ( not 100% cases) that kids get spoilled here because of lack of attention from parents ( work -work) and the spoilled modernized north american culture, we rather take chance to put her in nice shcool in india for couple of years so chances are they learn to respects the indian culture , know the value of our society and religion. also study in india will develop Strong maths skills ( which required for future development) as well as General knowledge. ( Again this is only chance that people can take - no garrenties).
about parent and family - in hostels kids are only allow to have few days off - so parents can visit her those time or may be they can bring her back for vacation in canada every year so she want forget her canadian culture also that she can easily feet after.
lets hope this works !!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks folks
I've never lived in my country of origin however I still know and respect my culture and religion. I don't see what being in India will do for your neice's sense of culture - to me, that comes from how you live at home with your parents and extended family and how you are brought up. If you are taught about your culture/traditions and religion, and are taught to respect them, then you will (although at some level it is also a personal choice). It seems to me that sending kids halfway around the world when they are still so young takes away from important family time. The time spent nurturing your child is just as important, if not more, than hoping they will get a better education halfway across the world. My husband was sent away from his home when he was just 12 yrs old and has not lived with his parents since then. He has no memories with his parents after the age of 12. There is a certain lack of bond between him and his parents and now after all these yrs when his parents want to be 'parents' again and live with him, there are major problems.
But if this is your choice, good luck with it!
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Bijou Bazaar
http://bijoubazaar22.googlepages.com
OP has already decided to send the girl to India; however, I feel this topic is really very important for all the parents who want their children to study back home (or have already sent them). I agree with meetonline on many points. If one thinks that kids will get spoiled here because lack of attention from parents (in many cases this happens), send them back home to learn about culture and keep in touch (mainly emotionally) with them may work.
In these cases bonding with parents depends on many things like if the child is in a boarding school or living with other family members, nature of child (sensitiveness etc), nature of family members with whom he/she is living and so on.
I have never been at any boarding school/ Hostel, So I may be wrong here. It’d be greatly appreciated if someone who has lived (especially in childhood) in boarding school/ Hostel/ apart from parents can share their experience and thought on this topic.
Greetings All,
Though my post has got nothing to do with the original question posed. Here is an article from the NY Times, that looks at Indian Education being the envy of the Japanese
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/02/business/worldbusiness/02japan.html?em&ex=1199422800&en=6a24bd9e75389e18&ei=5087%0A
Thanks
b
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Bombay State of mind
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Frnd,
This is a complex question, I've seen both the cases where kids got spoiled in hostel and where they were as normal as any one else will be. My father was in hostel from 14 onwards but he took care of his parents, is been the best father, husband etc...but he started smoking young...habit picked up from hostel. Amitabh B was in hostel but you see where he is, Abhishek and his sister too...there are many examples of kids sent to convents and turned out okay.
All kids are different and take the separation differently. Personally I can't foresee myself away from my kids but if other parents choose boarding then there must be reasons.
Jona
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 03-01-08 17:08:03
I am a firm beliver that Canada is not a good place for children (age 5 to 17) to grow up esp. when both parents work (dead end jobs) and the parents donot have a good social circle. Even otherwise schools in Canada donot confirm to Indian values / way of being bringing up. Children in canadian schools are rude, speak bad words, have no home work , abusive, arraogant and sometimes take drugs/ have premarital sex. Also the standard of education is very low. having said that, if both the parents work a tensionless 9-5 job (say IT) and have saturdays and sundays free and have ample time in the evenings to spend with their child, I would not encourage them to send their children to India unless they have very loving and caring grandparents in India who would look personally after the children.
What many of our CBCD's donot understand is our vibrant nation which offers 24/7/365 sunshine/ warmth, the genuineness of love from relatives/ friends, the dedication with which teachers teach the children (and spanking them if they donot study well), the festivals, the low cost of living etc.. Canada canot even offer 1/1000th. of that.
I am one who studied 4 years in Africa and was in my grand parents home in India for 5 years while my parents worked 160 kms. away. We grew up pretty nicely with no regrets and if we have good grandparents, uncles and Aunts to grow up with, I donot see the difference between a grand parent ,parents or a close relative. I have said the same above thing many times in CD,
However, Personally I will not encourage children to be left in hostels / residential schools which is even worse than bringing up children than schooling them at local public schools in Canada.
TK A
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 04-01-08 00:45:18
When I first read TKs response .. I was riled up. Obviously its not possible to generalize any country nationality or society. However when I re-read his response I realized that in some ways..I agree with him. Yes kids here ARE often rude and arrogent in schools..but whose responsible for this? Media. Adults. Lack of respect in society in general. An entitlement attitude among people that shows a general lack of empathy for other people. Its not just canadian. Its all over the world. Until People STOP killing each other in the name of things like religion .. what else will children do?
TK: there is a poem called "children learn what they live. Read it:
http://www.empowermentresources.com/info2/childrenlearn-long_version.html
IF a child is Rude..if a child is ABUSIVE..there is something wrong. Chances are..something that child may be emulating from the adults in their lives. Im not talking desi kids..im talking any nationality.
Rather than judging these children..help them in any way you can.
Our society .. our world needs more EMPATHY..not judgement.
To the Original poster: im sorry I hijacked your thread. However this is a very hot topic. I dont agree that children are only exposed to culture in their own 'ethnic' country ie. india.
Respect for parents is a multicultural phenomonen. Communication is SOO important. Many people are poor communicators with their children/parents.
rather than freaking out if you see children behaving badly..remember they are still forming..still learning. guide them right. dont teach them that running away is the solution. Most teenagers and pre-teens are testing out the waters..they need their parents around them at this time. even if you are only aailable a few hours per day..kids will appreciate this a lot.
and if you realize that kids know the difference between parents/aunts and uncles and grandparents..then I think they will also have different needs for all relatives..and most needs for their 'mom and dad'.
parents cannot be replaced.
Quote:
Originally posted by tamilkuravan
I am a firm beliver that Canada is not a good place for children (age 5 to 17) to grow up esp. when both parents work (dead end jobs) and the parents donot have a good social circle. Even otherwise schools in Canada donot confirm to Indian values / way of being bringing up. Children in canadian schools are rude, speak bad words, have no home work , abusive, arraogant and sometimes take drugs/ have premarital sex. Also the standard of education is very low. having said that, if both the parents work a tensionless 9-5 job (say IT) and have saturdays and sundays free and have ample time in the evenings to spend with their child, I would not encourage them to send their children to India unless they have very loving and caring grandparents in India who would look personally after the children.
What many of our CBCD's donot understand is our vibrant nation which offers 24/7/365 sunshine/ warmth, the genuineness of love from relatives/ friends, the dedication with which teachers teach the children (and spanking them if they donot study well), the festivals, the low cost of living etc.. Canada canot even offer 1/1000th. of that.
I am one who studied 4 years in Africa and was in my grand parents home in India for 5 years while my parents worked 160 kms. away. We grew up pretty nicely with no regrets and if we have good grandparents, uncles and Aunts to grow up with, I donot see the difference between a grand parent ,parents or a close relative. I have said the same above thing many times in CD,
However, Personally I will not encourage children to be left in hostels / residential schools which is even worse than bringing up children than schooling them at local public schools in Canada.
TK A
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~ Morning rain
Location: carl sagan's universe
Posted on: 04-01-08 09:08:39
Hi meetonline,
Ok, spoke to a couple of friends who had sent their children- both girls- one from grade 6 here to standards 7 to 10 in India and from grade 7 to standards 8-10. Both girls were Can citizens when they left for India
Both set of parents are from the Mumbai-Pune tract. Both experiences are similar.
First they had to stop the girls education here in May and send them to India where school starts early June so they did not complete their grades here.
Both lived with their grandparents and went to day school as opposed to boarding school.
According to the parents both have got a lot more Indian culture into them and know more about India than they would have had they been here(I agree with that) due to lack of time commitment from parents and the environment they live in(nurture def plays a role).
However when school ends at standard 10 in India and the children have to go to Junior College, the parents decided they would stand a better chance of getting into Can universities if they came back and studied here in high school. According to the parents, the girls had no problem in adjusting back here and did not get put into ESL as they had studied here upto grades 6 and 7 and were Can citizens. Also as school gives over in India end April, they came here in May and went back to grade 10 for a few weeks until end June to get into the groove of things.
I have not spoken to the children, but acc to the parents their children are very thankful for having been sent to India for a while where their general knowledge and other skills and culture absorbing have made them more rounded broader based personalities.
I don't know if that helps, but it would make a real interesting human interest story for a magazine- children who are sent back to their home country for a while- impact on them and parents etc.
As regards the jargon and lingo, the schools the children went to in India, one Bombay International School- a mixed school like here in Canada both guys and gals- off Chowpatty near babulnath temple- well that school will put most schools in TO to shame where that is concerned.They are upto the mark with Australian and British use of the English language as well.And then their knowledege of Hinglish--- now that's a real cool story. And Bambaiya.....'nuff said!
The other was St.Mary's in Pune- all girls school-same situation there- they are with it in most forms of English language use.(I use most as I just thought of Singlish- the type used in S'pore- maybe Chandresh can fill us in on that- and am not too sure if the kids would know Singlish or Jamaican English etc.)
I know of parents who have sent boys too but haven't checked with them.
