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  Canada Immigration Forum > About Canada > Life > Reverse immigration and the in-between Generation.
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Reverse immigration and the in-between Generation.




Charlie
Senior Desi
Member since: Apr 05




Posts: 538
Location: Canada


Quote:
Orginally posted by tamilkuravan


I want to bring her up in Indian Values ( call me an old timer, spoil sport- i donot care), meaning No dating, No drugs, No over mingling with Boys, No cellphone etc... And besides, Canada would be the last place that i would prefer her to comeafter 22 years. She will go either to UK, USA , Europe etc..


If I am in her place and want to freak out.....you are giving me the best situation...Dad abroad minting $$$.....I am in India...nobody to report to.....drugs round the corner....boys everywhere....party time anytime....
Quote:

side note 2 : The only reason that i have left my wife and daughter in india till may is that they should not suffer canadian cold and for proper medical care. This nation is horrible with cold 6 months a year and very very poor medical facilities.


From your conversation you appear to be a young person....how many times in a year do you need to visit a doctor......4 or 5 at the most.....that is your evaluation statistics

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Last edited by: Charlie on 15-02-06 12:33:22
Post ID: 67614 15-02-06 12:32:35
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rahul_singh23
Senior Desi
Member since: Apr 05




Posts: 1013
Location:

Try to understand time
I agree with morning_rain.
Let me tell you tamilkuravan may be you dont like. If you are raising your kids somewhere in village of India then things are different but in all big cities life style is changed. Dating/cell phone/night life/hanging out with boys all is very common. If you want to tight screw on your kids they will try to hide everything and one day they will leave you, marry without your permission and kick your ass. Who does not change with time they will not survive or time will change them.

(pls see the movie old Waqt)




 
Post ID: 67616 15-02-06 12:42:14
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tamilkuravan
Senior Desi
Member since: Jun 05




Posts: 5730
Location: God's own country

Hi!
Hi all!
Donot compare movies with real life. It does not work that way. My relatives and her grand parents will take care of my daughter. So they will control her moment. Even in canada she can get spoilt. But in India her chances will be lesser for the better.
To Charlie :
My mum was diagonised with Brain Lechions/lessions ( i forgot the spelling) @ erode ( a 3 rd. class indian town) and she was in her death bed. She was taken to a clinic on the street at erode. She was scanned with MRI and they found the brain lession. The doctor immediately put her on TB tablets (b'cos brain lessions respond to TB medicines). In 3 days she was feeling better. But due to my brother's compulsion she was admitted in a hindu missionary hospital in coimbatore where she was further treated for 15 days or so and discharged. the bill was rs.10000 at erode and rs. 8000 at coimbatore. At coinbatore , the cleaning lady, bathing lady and nurses REFUSED to accept our monetary gifts!.
So would you rather be in india or In Canada where MRI scans take - months? and the medical treatment is HOPELESS. Also charlie , remeber that Tax payers still pay the health tax.
TK
Side note : Wait times in Ontario and their consequences : http://www.workopolis.ca/servlet/Content/fasttrack/20060128/CANCER28?section=Insurance

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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.

 
Last edited by: tamilkuravan on 15-02-06 14:45:28
Post ID: 67617 15-02-06 12:51:26
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Charlie
Senior Desi
Member since: Apr 05




Posts: 538
Location: Canada


TK ...lets talk of facts.....child sexual abuse is from close relatives...uncle/aunts ....etc. I am not blaming your relatives but.....that is what figure have to tells...."You want to guard you child from all adversity of life" Correct. Parents are the best gaurdian of a child. It is your choice at the end of the day.
Also can you point to some incident where patient expired due to not getting a MRI or immediate medical attention in Canada on death bed. It may change my view towards Canadian medical system. It is overloaded all of us know that but critical services to patient on death bed is priority in my perception of Canada. No VIP system is applicable then.

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Post ID: 67618 15-02-06 12:59:52
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tamilkuravan
Senior Desi
Member since: Jun 05




Posts: 5730
Location: God's own country

Charlie
Charlie,
What you said implied that people who regularly have to see a doctor are better off in Canada than in India and i merely pointed out a true life example which refuted your statement. When i think of the tax dollars. health tax that i paid in return for the service which i get, i feel that people are better off in india. Besides if you are not a senior, you still have to pay for the pharmacy.
And charlie : There are virtually NO or very negligible child molestors in India . That is a fact. Yes. There is an occasional Auto driver who rapes a child but that percentage is almost negligibe. How many child abuse have you heard in india from relatives? for me it is ALMOST NONE. if you have stats. to back it up, then please do. Crenshaw will always be asking for that.
In canada, (from what i have heard), female children are most likely to be molested by their FATHER within the family. What do you say for that?
TK
Sidenote : All these are my personal opinion. This is the way that i want to bring my children up. This does not mean that you have to follow my way. Please your descrition while raising up your children. Also i donot mean to stir up any controversy with my statements. if any one of you feel offended, please accept my apologies.-TK

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Last edited by: tamilkuravan on 15-02-06 13:09:04
Post ID: 67619 15-02-06 13:05:50
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rahul_singh23
Senior Desi
Member since: Apr 05




Posts: 1013
Location:


I am also a father of 15 months old son. This is my personal view:

If you can not take care your kids then dont give them birth. It's your responsibility to take care/give them good education/seeing them growing everyday/giving answers of all good and bad questions.
Giving kids to grandparents and sending money from here does not mean you are taking care of them nicely.

Put yourself in the shoe of that kid. If I am that place then I dont care shit about my parents who is sitting abroad and counting $$. I dont need $$ parents, I need time/your touch of my parents.

One small lession:
-----------
One guy was working very hard and making 200$/hr. But he comes around 8-9pm back to home. Till that time his kid got sleep. One day kid asked dad can you come tomorrow for dinner early at 6pm so we can sit and talk. You can see how good I play guitar. Dad said you dont know how much money I make and how much I work hard. Kid asked how much "Dad said 200$/hr".
After 2 months kid gave 200$ to his dad and said "Dad can I buy your 1 hr at evening". That money I saved from my pocket money.
----------------------





 
Post ID: 67620 15-02-06 13:09:24
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tamilkuravan
Senior Desi
Member since: Jun 05




Posts: 5730
Location: God's own country

Rahul's Quote
Begining of quote
"If you can not take care your kids then dont give them birth. It's your responsibility to take care/give them good education/seeing them growing everyday/giving answers of all good and bad questions."
End of quote
Rahul : This is exactly why i want to send my daughter to india.
I am not talking in the shoes of IT people earning top $ in india and working 4 1/2 days or working from home as consultant.
I am talking in the shoes of a Labourer/ factory worker in Canada working 6 to 7 days a week and want to give the best to their children. What pleasure can these people's children enjoy in Canada where it is cold 6 months of a year and the medical facilities are poor. Tell me an example in which my child can enjoy an out door activity without parents supervision ?
School : Teachers/ care takers are sometimes child molestors
Scout: scout leaders are sometimes child molestors
Sports : coaches are sometimes child molestors
Pool : Pool coaches are sometimes child molestors


India : In india , i donot say that these kind of people DONOT exist. but if you catch any one of them, then they can be stoned and police can do nothing about it. So based on that fear , they are very careful.

Canada: In canada, can you touch and hit a child molestor? only a court can decide .
Conclusion : so i have decided to send my child to india ( and this is just my opinion- I am not forcing my ideas on anyone. if the moderators feel offended, please feel free to delete)
TK


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Last edited by: tamilkuravan on 15-02-06 13:21:13
Post ID: 67621 15-02-06 13:18:29
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morning_rain
Global Moderator
Member since: Feb 05




Posts: 1920
Location: British Columbia


Quote:
Orginally posted by tamilkuravan

Morning rain,
Do you think that i can give happiness to my daughter by working 7 days a week and 6 months cold every year ?


My idea is to give her govt. benefits till 10 years of age and send her to be in india where the atmoshphere is so relaxing and free.

She will have grand parents, relatives etc.. I can go and see her for 2 weeks every year and she can come to canada 2 months every year (vacation).

I am sure that she will love india when compared to Canada.


I want to bring her up in Indian Values ( call me an old timer, spoil sport- i donot care), meaning No dating, No drugs, No over mingling with Boys, No cellphone etc... And besides, Canada would be the last place that i would prefer her to comeafter 22 years. She will go either to UK, USA , Europe etc..


TK
Sidenote : What i had meant by logical thinking was that at 22 she will have the maturity to choose wisely. At 18 i was given the free hand to choose and i choosed : no drugs, no dating, no smokes, no alchohal, share trading etc...

side note 2 : The only reason taht i have left my wife and daughter in india till may is that they should not suffer canadian cold and for proper medical care. This nation is horrible with cold 6 months a year and very very poor medical facilities.

Side note 3 : The problem with second gen. canadians is that they canot think outside Canadian or American borders.



1) Yes I think you can give happiness to your daughter based on your relationship with her..its quality not quantity regardless of your job or occupation.

2) What government benefits do you hope to give her?

3) Did you have children so her grand parents will raise her? is that fair to them? they have done their job in raising you - its your turn to raise your kids. If you cannot raise them - then dont have them.

4) Why do you feel your daughter will love India compared to canada? because you do? plz explain.

5) As a Canadian born I am offended by a lot of what you wrote on your post. Not all canadian borns are doing drugs etc. Do yu think Indian girls dont date or do drugs or 'mingle' with boys in India??? I think you need a reality check.

6) Do you think girls in India dont use cell phones - again REality Check. without her parents there..ur daughter will have total freedom. Instead of guiding her into making good decisions..ur solution is to take her away. Will that teach her how to deal with life?

Side note 1 : There is no guarantee your daughter will be able to choose wisely at 22 or 32 or even 42 ! It all depends on the guidance and upbringing her parents give her. Dont pawn your job off to someone else

Sidenote 2 : First of all, not all of Canada suffers "6 months cold" ..in BC the weather is very mild. Secondly, 6 months cold doesnt kill anyone!! The human body has the marvelous ability to adapt. What I find hard is the HEAT of many places in India.

Side note 3: You are entitled to your opinion however I am very offended by your generalization. Do you feel that you think outside your border? you want to send your daughter to India so she keeps "indian values' (whatever you mean them to be)... isnt that wanting to keep inside borders?

please examine your own views before judging 2nd gens. Also If you took the responsibility of having a child .. its your job to teach her/him right and wrong based on your values. Dont assume sending her back is the right solution - you may be viewing the India you left with rosy glasses...check the reality of Indian cities today...






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~ Morning rain



 
Post ID: 67637 15-02-06 16:37:53
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morning_rain
Global Moderator
Member since: Feb 05




Posts: 1920
Location: British Columbia


Quote:
Orginally posted by tamilkuravan

Hi all!
Donot compare movies with real life. It does not work that way. My relatives and her grand parents will take care of my daughter. So they will control her moment. Even in canada she can get spoilt. But in India her chances will be lesser for the better.

Quote:


Do you think relatives and others can give the same upbringing that parents can?

Stop blaming Canada..for what I clearly see ..as your inability to be a good parent !! YES IM angry.

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~ Morning rain



 
Post ID: 67638 15-02-06 16:40:20
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morning_rain
Global Moderator
Member since: Feb 05




Posts: 1920
Location: British Columbia


Quote:
Orginally posted by tamilkuravan

And charlie : There are virtually NO or very negligible child molestors in India . That is a fact. Yes. There is an occasional Auto driver who rapes a child but that percentage is almost negligibe. How many child abuse have you heard in india from relatives? for me it is ALMOST NONE. if you have stats. to back it up, then please do.

Quote:


I hate to tell you - but most rapes/molestations occur within the family..and the reasons they do is becuase generally the perpetrator knows the victim will keep quiet. In Indian society there is pressure to keep it quiet..even a rape victim who goes to Court (and that too in North america) will have a difficult time proving their innocence.

So therefore 1) there will likely not be hard stats on rape and incest victims
2) There is a culture of quiet and shame not to let others know one has been molested

3) I know women personally that were molested when they went back to India to stay with relatives.by male relatives... Only in India. It does happen here..but guess what..it also happens in India

Please open your eyes to reality ..and not the fantasy you want to live in.


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~ Morning rain



 
Post ID: 67639 15-02-06 16:44:26
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