Posted on: 26-11-05 19:26:45
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Orginally posted by meghal
Quote:
Orginally posted by Fonzie
If you are immigrating to Canada, trying to maintain an Indian attitude may not be such a good thing. When in Rome, do as the Romans do :-)
IMHO, this board is behaving like a broken needle, playing the same song. Just few days ago, somebody posted a similar topic
http://www.canadiandesi.com/read.php?TID=10637
First of all, what is Indian values or Indian attitude?
I belive most of people (and I may be wrong) equate Canadian values to premarital sex, and living separate from parents at age of 18. Since we live with our parents even after our adulthood, we believe that living a separate from parents is bad thing to do, and anybody who does such thing should be condemned.
I think, that for Canadians (read Caucasians or people of European descent), getting away from their parents after age of 18 is normal. In their society, living with your parents after you have reached adulthood, might be considered an abnormal thing. So why criticize Canadian way of thinking?
And what are Indian values? If I can list them
(1) Hypocrisy - Consider sex has a western malaise and treat it as a four letter word. You enjoy doing it, but too ashamed to talk about it
(2) Control freak parents, who won't allow their children to take their own decisions, on name of respect.
(3) Instances during shooting of \\\"Water\\\", where we turn blind eye to what happens to widows in Benares, but protest when somebody tries to expose such events
(4) Littering on roads and public places, lack of places of personal convenience, instances of corruption in public services, instances such as killing of Manjunath?
List can go on and on..
Evne though I am very proud of being an Indian, I cannot turn a blind eye to some of the things associated to India to which I do not agree.
I believe you got confused down there @ the end. Those are not \"values\" that you mentioned. They are shortcomings of the desi nature. (Or you were just being sarcastic.
)I am a bachelorette so I really can't comment on how to keep my kids on track. Haven't got much experience with that yet.
As for what constitutes for values... I second Meghal's point about pre-marital sex.
Another thing that most of the Indian parents tend to be bitchy about is the way you talk to your elders. Always has to be a certain way.
And also dressing conservatively.
Dad's getting all up in arms about not letting their daughters talk to boys and vice-versa.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
(3) Instances during shooting of \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"Water\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\", where we turn blind eye to what happens to widows in Benares, but protest when somebody tries to expose such events
(4) Littering on roads and public places, lack of places of personal convenience, instances of corruption in public services, instances such as killing of Manjunath?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Very will said ....but we shouldn't consider these exceptions as our actual Indian Culture.
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ani
Quote:
Orginally posted by sonusingh
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do not loose the values for which Indian are famous for.
<snip>
What exactly are the values they are famous for? Probably a stupid question but please indulge. Thanks
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And exceptions dont make the rule.....
I think we wud b digressing from the original post which doesnt wish 2 debate on whether the values are good or bad ( theres a separate thread on that) but wishes 2 focus on how 2 retain the Indian values(this being largely an Indian forum) .
2 my understanding Indian values or 4 that reason any set of values is smthing u have been brought up with the distinction of right and wrong.For eg in India pre marital sex is a taboo as a rule whereas its not an eyebrow raiser in the West. What a person sees as right or wrong is based on his value & thinking .
Coming 2 the original post - thanks SonuSingh 4 bringing the subject.This is indeed a v imp issue which a person generally overlooks while Imigrating - when u enter a new country its a new culture , new values and new behaviours .We shd b flexible enough 2 change rselves so as to homogenise and yet mantain sm rigidity on r values (ie what v consider right and wrong).
Q is how 2 retain these in children who are bound 2 get influenced by the outside peer group (a problem highlighted in 'Bend it with Beckham') - I think the following ways may work out .Pls feel free 2 expand upon them / reject them 2 let the real picture flow .
1. Be confident of ur own selves & ur culture . Celebrate Diwali / Holi (any festival based on ur region / religion) and other festivals even while u r socially isolated as the child is bound 2 know and understand the importance of his culture & festivites.
2. Make a fine line while homogenising with the whole society . You can be friends with all nationalities but try & be 'close friends' with ur own nationality - birds of a feather flock 2gether is a common nature of human beings also.
3. Never force ur child . Influence him with ur values as an ideal . Till teenage all children idealise their parents and by teenage most of the personailty is moulded. Be an ideal person 4 ur child so that he may develop belief and faith in u .
4. Make him accept other cultures as well but with a distinction of right and wrong based on his own values .
5. Try & supervise his external peer group . This will help him on the value system plus save him 4m unwanted company. As a teenager also a person is oblivious of what lies ahead and we shd take on the mantle 2 guide him / her .
6. Be cooperative and understanding during adoloscence for children neglected @ this age are prone to take on 2 bad things as a vengeance and a release of pent up feelings.
U can only teach the path - not force them 2 follow . In the end its 4 them 2 b their own judge. But how u bring them up does play a vital role. Plus Canada turning out 2 be more multi cultural with passing time shd b in a better position for cultural co existence as against the UK / US .
Comments invited . In stead of being outrightly critical and letting this thread be a rebuttal battle ground kindly contribute +vely so as to let out the correct picture .
Manasvi.
Quote:
Orginally posted by Manasvi
.For eg in India pre marital sex is a taboo as a rule whereas its not an eyebrow raiser in the West.
i know quite a few indians who do not think of it as a taboo. Are they indians?
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.We shd b flexible enough 2 change rselves so as to homogenise and yet mantain sm rigidity on r values (ie what v consider right and wrong).
So since its dependent on choice...would it be an 'individual' value instead of 'indian value'...unless you answer the last question to say that those who do not consider certain mores 'indian' are not 'indian'.
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Pls feel free 2 expand upon them / reject them 2 let the real picture flow . ).
what is the 'real picture'?
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<snip> Celebrate Diwali / Holi (any festival based on ur region / religion) and other festivals even while u r socially isolated as the child is bound 2 know and understand the importance of his culture & festivites.
Good one. Also include your neighbours e.g: distribute sweets to your neighbours and tell them why(if they are not desi).
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Try & supervise his external peer group . This will help him on the value system plus save him 4m unwanted company. As a teenager also a person is oblivious of what lies ahead and we shd take on the mantle 2 guide him / her .
you have a teenager?
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U can only teach the path - not force them 2 follow .
good one. They are on their own journey...as most of us are..even after we are out of the shadow of our parents.
For me the most important thing is to let them know that...whatever they are and whatever their mistakes or success they are always welcome back 'HOME'.
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Quote:
Orginally posted by Manasvi
Comments invited . In stead of being outrightly critical and letting this thread be a rebuttal battle ground kindly contribute +vely so as to let out the correct picture .
Manasvi.
I knew this ....
Lets get back 2 the discussion . Other ppl are also invited 2 post in their comments .
Manasvi.
Interesting topic. Well, I have been in Canada now for almost 5 years and have never felt the need to lose my Indian values or gain Canadian values. We Indians are very fortunate to have such a rich culture. Everything is comparative in this world so I think there is no point comparing cultures and values, each culture is at a different point in the continuum of evolution and they all seem to begin and end at the same point. Still I would say that by following Canadian values, I might get happiness but for peace, I look towards Indian values and culture. Happiness might come and go and is subject to materialism and sensory pleasures or success but peace is everlasting and unchanging. I might go to Walmart and buy a MP3 player - that will give me happiness but watching a movie like Anand or listening to the music of Parineeta will give me peace - just an example of what I mean. I have always felt that to a very large extent , it is our thinking that shapes our life and not the actions or behaviours of the society or people around us and my thinking stems form my upbringing which was in India so I am naturally inclined towards Indian values. I guess losing values or gaining values is an individual matter and shapes from our experiences, needs and goals.
